Beyond Repair

14. First Entry

|Clary POV|

After I close the door, I walk as quickly as I can towards my room to change. I open my door, and close it behind me, then go to my dresser to find an outfit for the day.

Fifteen minutes later, I have a new outfit on, and my basic amount of makeup. I head towards the door, but pause when I see a notebook lying on my bed . I walk over to it hesitantly, and slowly pick it up. I flip through the pages, looking for anything written in it.

"Empty," I whisper to myself. I go to close the front cover, but notice a single sentence written on the inside cover.

Clary,

I found this in my dresser, and I thought it would be perfect for that journal we talked about earlier. -Jace

"Oh, Jace," I say, smiling. I walk over to my desk and open the drawer. I rummage around inside it, searching for a pen.

When I find one, I sit down at the desk, turn on the light, and begin to write my first entry to Jace.

Clary-8/14/14
Jace,

Yesterday when we talked outside, I wasn't sure what to think. You had broken my heart up all those years ago, and I, honestly, wasn't sure if you were worthy of having my trust again. Ever since I was little, I've always been hesitant to trust people. Getting my trust is like winning a prize at a fair. You have to work to receive it. You worked to get your prize, but then you lost it. I wasn't sure if you deserved to get to try to win again. Then I saw your eyes. I saw your eyes, and how they reflected your pain and loss. I loved you too much to let you just continue like that. As angry as I was that day that I saw you in Pandemonium, I still loved you, and I think that maybe that was the reason why I was so angry. You had destroyed me beyond repair, and yet, I still loved you. I know I'm crazy, and I know that things don't always make sense, but Jace, I also know that you love me, and that I love you. I know that you can make me laugh more that anyone (don't tell Simon!), and that you're there for me even when I'm a complete bitch to you. We balance each other out, and that's why we work. We get through everything, but only because we do it together. I'm here for you, just say my name. I love you.

With all my love, Clary

I place the pen down on the desk, pick up the journal, and carry it with me downstairs, where I would hand it off to Jace.

A/N: sorry, I know it's kinda short! But honestly, I'm still proud of myself because I gave you an update two days in row! :)

Please, pretty please, check out my other story. I will love you forever if you do!!!!

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-Emma xx