Beyond Repair

11. Closed Doors

|Clary POV|

"Izzy, c'mon. Let me in, please," I plead.

"No. You're just going to tell me a bunch of crap about how it's not a big deal. I'm not opening the door," Izzy's muffled voice replies.

I smile a little at the sound of her voice. I just know she's laying on her back with her head at the foot of her bed while she covers her face with a pillow. We both do it when were upset. We call it "The Clizzy Position".

"No I'm not, Isabelle. I'm going to tell you. Just let me in!" I say.

"No."

|Isabelle POV|

"Just go away, Clary," I reply with my face in the pillow.

"Not happening. You have to let me in first."

Fine. Whatever works for her. She's going to be there for a long time... Oh no. I don't remember locking the door. I shoot up off my bed to check, but I'm too late.

The door handle turns, and Clary takes a hesitant step in. "If you're going to make such a big deal, at least lock the door to make it harder for me."

Shit.

"Go away," I mutter weakly as a last attempt to get her to leave.

"No can do. I've got something to say. Whether or not you listen is up to you," Clary replies.

"Whatever," I say, and slump back over to my bed to lay on my back in The Clizzy Position.

Wait.

Nope. I'm not doing something that Clary does. I'm freaking mad at her! I pull the pillow off my face, and roll over on my stomach. There. Much better.

"Okay. Here it goes. I should have to told you why I left. You're my best friend, and you totally deserve better, so-"

"I know that," I interrupt.

"So," she continues, only hesitating for a second, "I'm going to tell you. The night before I left, I went to Pandemonium, looking for Jace. He was missing for the third time that week, so I was worried.

"I searched everywhere for him, but then remembered how he liked Pandemonium, so I went there. The skanky girl at the bar told me he was in the farthest corner from the entrance, so I had to push past everyone to get to him. It was so crowded, so suffocating." Clary shudders at the memory.

"I saw his hair first. Of course I did. It's gold. There was...a man. He was blocking my complete sight of him-of Jace. I had to push past him just like everyone else, and-and when-when I did..."

I look at Clary, scared that I'm so sure of what she'll say. "No," I whisper. "Not Jace. He wouldn't..."

"A-and when I s-saw him... he w-was all over some girl," she sobs, sliding down the wall of my bedroom with her hands covering her face as she cries.

"Oh god, Clary," I whisper, and jump off my bed to comfort her, all anger towards Clary vanishing.

She doesn't continue telling me anymore of the story, if there even was more. I don't make her, either, because I know how much it hurts to be heartbroken. Granted, I haven't really been in love before Simon. But I do know what it's like to be cheated on, or to be dumped.

"I'm sorry I was mad," I say guiltily.

"No," she replies, wiping under her eyes in an attempt to rub off her now-messy makeup. "Don't be. I should've told you. It was stupid of me to think I shouldn't tell you. You're my best friend, and I should trust you, no matter what."

"Yeahhhh," I say, smirking. "You should. But I won't hold this one against you, Fairchild. Don't worry."

"I won't," she laughs.

I grab her arm and mock-glare at her. "But don't let it happen again."

She looks at me, terrified. "Okay!"

"Good." I look straight ahead, satisfied.

I feel Clary's eyes on me as she starts to laugh. "I love being your best friend, Isabelle. Never a boring moment," she chortles.

"Damn straight," I crow, giggling.

She laughs too, and leans on my shoulder. "Best friends forever, Iz."

I look over at her and whisper back, "Best friends til time runs out."

|Clary POV|

Twenty minutes later I'm standing in front of Jace's door, preparing to go give Jace a visit.

"C'mon, Clary. Pull it together, pull it together!"

I wring my hands nervously, as I pace in front of the door.

"It's just Jace, weirdo. Why are you so nervous?" I mutter to myself.

But I know why. This isn't the same Jace. This is a Jace who isn't always cocky and self righteous. He isn't as sure of himself as he used to be. I'd like to think that I was the reason for his over abundant confidence, but judging from my conversations with Alec, that's doesn't seem so. Alec also told that he lacked all interest in anything after I left, so I don't know. Maybe it was me when I came into his life.

"Did you need something Clary?"

I jump in shock, and turn to see Jace. "By the angel," I breathe. "You just scared the shit out of me!"

"Sorry?" Jace says, smirking a little.

"You should be. I didn't even know you were there," I mumble.

"I've been standing here for a good two minutes."

"Well I didn't notice you."

"Clearly."

"Oh, shut up and get over yourself," I grumble. Okay, maybe he is still a little cocky. But really, would he be Jace if he wasn't?

Jace smirks at me again, and says, "Would you like to come in?"

I look up at him and then into his room and say, "Only of you're not going to tease about what just happened."

Jace gives me a fake shocked look, and replies with, "Of course I won't tease you. That would just be mean."

"Oh, shut up."

"You've said that twice already, and you haven't even gotten into my room yet."

"Which truly explains the basis of our relationship."

"Very true," Jace says thoughtfully.

I smile at him, quickly look up and down the hall to make sure no one else is there, and peck him on the lips.

"Now there's a good reason to not tease you," he growls.

I laugh, and lean in to kiss him again. He leans in too, waiting for the kiss. Just as he's about to catch my lips, I lean away, smiling when he looks disappointed.

"You're mean," he complains.

"Yeahhhh, that's a good way to get me to kiss you," I tease.

He grabs my waist and pulls me so close to him that I can count the very few freckles under his eyes. My breath hitches when he gently places his lips on mine, and cups my face in his large hand. I start to kiss him back, but then pull away. "Jace..."

"No you don't. You won't say a word. You're not allowed to talk," he says quickly.

"No, Jace, you know we can't here," I whisper.

"Okay," he says, and pulls me into his room.