Beyond Repair

8. Truth Be Told

|Jace POV|

This is what I want, need really, for my whole life. Just Clary, and that's all. I think of us, together, as we grow old together as normal people; a normal couple. But we can't be normal though. We are Shadowhunters. Shadowhunter and normal do not ever come in the same sentence. Ever. Well, maybe they have, but in some really long sentence with two completely different thoughts within it. One involving normalcy, and the other Shadowhunters.

Clary pulls away, smiling. "What're you thinking about?"

"Wha-? Oh. You can tell,' I say sheepishly.

"Of course I can, idiot. So? What is it?" Clarys asks again.

"I... I was just thinking about what it would be like if- if you and I weren't, you know, Shadowhunters, and could just grow up as normal people. I know it's stupid. Just forget it," I say, feeling a little embarassed at my thought.

"What?!? How's that stupid? Sometimes I think about that too. You know, having my old life again, and having met you in, like, a coffee shop or something," Clary says, laughing a little.

I smile too. "We should rewrite our story. Completely different than our real life: an alternate universe of our current life."

She pulls away from me a little more so she can see me even better. She just looks at me, and not just my face. She looks at every part of me. She can hear what I'm thinking, and see what I'm feeling. Clary places her hand on my heart so she can feel that too. "You're right. We should."

"Huh?"

"We should write this alternate universe. But not together. We should write them as letters to each other. One each day if we can," Clary says excitedly.

"Um, we should, but Clary I'm not sure that expecting one each day is a reasonable thought. We are Shadowhunters," I say.

Clary sighs, and then looks out into the street. "You're right. How about just whenever we can then? Oh, and you can't write anything until I send you one first. Otherwise it won't be a continuous story; it'll be two separate stories that we send two each other. So don't write anything unless I send something first, and then you'll write off that."

"Sounds good," I say, smiling.

"I wanna go first," Clary says, sneaking a kiss on my cheek.

"Whatever works for you," I say, secretly grateful. It's a good thing she's starting it off. If I start it, it'll be lame ass.

"Damn! I told Sebastian I'd be back awhile ago! We should probably go back in," she says, looking at me regretfully.

"It's okay, Clary. It just gives me a good excuse to see you later," I say, smirking when Clary turns pink.

She grabs my hand and drags me to the front door. I open it for her, and then follow her inside. Clary looks at me intently while we wait for the elevator.

"What's up?" I say, as we step into the elevator.

"I... I don't know. I was just thinking...do you think we should tell everyone yet? Because my brother is going to be so pissed off at me," Clary says.

I look at her for a minute. "Okay. So we don't tell them yet, if you're worried about your brother."

She looks up at me, surprised. "Really? You sure?"

"If it's what you want, I'm all for it," I answer.

We walk to the door that enters into the dining room, and pause. Clary lets go of my hand, and says, "Here it goes."

"We got this," I reply.

"Whatever you say, Mr. Confident.," she replies cockily.

"Hold up," I say. "If we're going in there like nothing happened, shouldn't you be pissed at me?"

Clary looks thoughtful for a second, and then says, "Yeah, probably. I'm pissed, and you look like someone just kicked your puppy."

"Yeah. Wait, what?" I say.

"Yeah. You looked totally depressed. Just so you know," Clary says, smirking.

"Oh. Got it," I mumble.

"Hey. It's okay. You've got me now," she says, smiling.

"Not in front of them, though," I remind her.

"Right. Let's go." She walks in first, stalking past Simon, and slips her small body into her seat around the table. I watch as Sebastian leans over and whispers in her ear. She pushes him away, and says something like, "I'm fine."

I open the door a little wider so I can walk in, and slouch my shoulders and watch my feet step one in front of the other. You're depressed. You're really upset. Clary just dumped you again. That does it. I feel like I'm dying again, just at that thought. I close my eyes in pain. I sit down, and feel like I weigh a ton more than I actually do.

"Hey. You okay?" Alec nudges me, and looks at me worriedly. I shrug my shoulders, and hope I am doing a good enough job of pretending to be in pain.

|Clary POV|

One day I'll look back at this dinner, and I know that I'll say that the hardest part was not looking at Jace. At all. Ever. I avert my eyes every time I get close to his eyes. I don't even look in his direction. Well, that's not true actually. I look at his end of the table, where more people sit. Duh.

Isabelle leans over so she can speak to my quietly, and says, "You wanna tell me what's going on?"

"Nothing. Nothing is going on," I say, trying to sound angry. I stab at my food with my fork, just to make me look a little more angry.

"Yeahhhhhh. For some reason I doubt that," Isabelle replies, her eyes flicking to the the new crack in the plate in the exact same spot where I had just slammed my fork, and then back up at me.

"Well, sorry. That's true," I mutter as darkly as I can. C'mon, Fairchild. Don't mess up, don't mess up.

"Clary. I have about six friends. You are the closest to me that isn't my brother. Don't you think I can tell when you're lying?" Isabelle says, exasperated.

"Maybe," I mutter.

"Well, I can. Just for future reference," Isabelle says, rolling her eyes.

I nod, and push a piece of meat to the other side of the plate with my fork.

"So? What is it?" She says impatiently.

"I went out to talk to Jace, and it- it didn't go well," I say.

"Oh. That explains Jace," she says mostly to herself. She looks at me, and says quietly, "I want to know why you left, Clary. I don't care if it's a completely shitty reason. I just want to know why."

I gaze around the room at all the people I love. I love them all more than I could ever put into words. They're the reason I try so hard to live in battles. For the first time, I look at Jace. Would he want Izzy to know what happened? Would Jace want her to know that he cheated on me? I know the answer.