Beyond Repair

9. Hard Decisions

|Isabelle POV|

"No."

"No?" I say in disbelief and confusion. "No, you won't tell me?"

"Yes. I mean no! I mean..." Clary presses her fingers to her temple in frustration. "I can't tell you, Isabelle. It- it isn't right for me to tell you."

"So I just have to be okay with not knowing what happened to you," I say, phrasing it as less of a question and more of a statement.

"What happened to me? Who said anything happened to me?" Clary says.

"Clary, I'm not an idiot. I also know you well enough to know that you loved your life as a Shadowhunter with us. Not just a little. A lot. You loved the training, and the teamwork, and... and you loved Jace," I say. "Don't shake your head at me, Clary. I know you did. Jace is my brother, and you...you are my best friend. You loved each other so much it hurt. I understand that now, because I've experienced it." I look over at Simon, and Clary follows my gaze. She rolls her eyes when she sees who I'm looking at.

"I did love my life as a Shadowhunter here. This is where it all started. When we drove here, we drove by the Pandemonium, and all I could think about was how different my life would've been if I had never forced Simon to go in with me that one day. And yes, I did love Jace. But I love my brother too. Sebastian asked me to come to Florida and train with him, so I did. That's all," Clary says, not looking me directly in the eye.

"Look at me in the eye and tell me that that's the only reason you left. That you only left because Sebastian asked you to go to Florida with him," I say. If it's the truth, I'll know. Clary's never lied to me. Ever.

"I..." Clary mumbles.

"Say it!" I urge her.

"I- I can't," she whispers.

"I knew it," I say angrily. "There's something going on, and you won't tell me. Clary, you've never lied to me before! Never in our entire friendship!"

"And I still haven't," Clary says sincerely.

"Yeah, well what you're doing now is as close as you can get to lying. Keeping a secret from me hurts me just as much as lying does," I say frustratedly, and run my fingers through my hair.

Clary opens her mouth to say something, but then closes it like she changes her mind.

"Great," I mutter, and push my chair back to get up from the table. "I wasn't that hungry anyway."

"Izzy! Wait!"

I walk towards the large double doors, ignoring Clary's requests for me to to wait, even as she runs to catch up with me.

|Clary POV|

"Isabelle! Please-"

Simon grabs my wrist, and I try to pull away. "Simon! Let me go! I have to talk to-"

"No you don't," Simon interrupts.

"Yes I do!" I reply, yanking my arm away, but Simon just grabs the other.

"Give her time, Clary. She needs to be by herself for a minute," Simon answers.

"Simon! C'mon! You don't even know what happened! I need to talk to Isabelle! Just let me go!" I protest.

"No," Simon says firmly. "Leave her alone for now, and talk to her later."

"But...Simon," I whine.

He ignores my whining, and turns me in the direction of my seat. "Sit, Fray."

"Fine...," I mutter, and slouch back to my seat.

"Thank you," Simon sighs, and turns back to his conversation with Josh.

When dinner finally ends, I'm full of relief and exhaustion, but I am acutely aware that I need to talk to two people tonight. Alright. You can do this, Clary.

I walk slowly to Jace's room. I pass Isabelle's room, and a wave of guilt passes over me. I quickly shake it off, and look at the next door. Max's room.

"Oh, God," I whisper to myself, as fat tears make a river down my cheeks. I trip over my own foot as I walk towards Max's old room. Jace can wait. This is far more important.

(A/N: Hey! I know this is a short chapter, but I wanted to update for you guys, because some of you have been asking me for an update, so here you go! If you guys have suggestions for plot ideas, let me know. I'm open to suggestions. Well, it depends on the suggestion, but ya know... LOVE Y'ALL!)