Being Trapped In Emotions

Leave Behind

I finally get home and my dad is waiting in the kitchen? Well not really waiting just eating by himself in the kitchen but still he's waiting. Me- Dad Look I got this stuff for us to use But we have to take these pills now! Dad- Okay I got it , I got it I'll take one now. So I took one and he took one I mean I really don't wanna have a baby right now I have things to fix and one of them Is not a diaper. He might want one or my sister Might want one but it's for the  sake of my happieness. Me- So ummm... Dad? Dad- Yes sweetie? Me- Do You.... umm... I'm sorry do you... want a baby? Dad- ( Drops fork on plate) '' Coughing'' What? No , no, no not if you don't want one do you? Me- No I just wanted to ask because well it's been over a  lot of years and well you never reall told me about these pills and could have been pregnant? Dad- Sweetie everytime is always a different time for that I never meant for you to do that or get a baby I just wanted to spend time with you one one one ( literally ) But no you never were gonna have a baby at a young age I won't let that happen to you. Me- Well my sister really wants a sister or brother but I tol her we can already adopt one again ( like me) But what do you think I should do now? Dad- Tell her no! If you don't want one and  I don't want one then she won't get one and there won't be none get it now. Me- Yeah Thanks I just wanted to say that.... ( excuse me one second) I ran Upstairs and literally threw up! I don't know wy but I just had too and I was thinking to myself... ( please don't be , please don't be) My dad rusehd up the steps to help me and he was patting my back.  Dad- sweetie are you okay? You don't look so good? Me- Yeah I'm fine, Just fine can you just take me to the doctors real quick I need some help. As he rushed me to the car In the rain all I could think about was ( All the things that happened to me so far in my life) I hate this stupid stuff why couldn't I just understand life. All those things were just breaking my head and brain into and I could not calm my self down? I had aniexty and I was sweating and I was everything that made me look like I was really sick? My dad was getting even more worried and He held my hand the whole time he was driving the car. Next minute I know I Black out? Like I had been locked in a dark room and I had my eye's closed. When I woke my dad and a doctor where standing over me? I was laying in a hosptial bed and had these machines plugged into my skin. Docotor- Well she see seems to be fine now but at least you got her to the doctor's early because if you didn't I think she would've... You know what. Me- What.... what are you talking about? ( I said in a Under sleeping medicine voice) Docotor- No, No, No don't talk just lay okay everythings just fine. Then they both left and my dad closed the door. I was alone in a hospital room and had nothing to do but sleep the whole time. I wish he could've told me what he meant when He said  I was gonna you know what? I mean I listen and see kind of but I feel like I'm really dumb right now. ( Ten Hours Later) I woke up from my cold but dark sleep and My dad was sitting next to me holding my hand tightly. Dad- Sweetie your awake I thought you were never gonna wake up! how do you feel? Me- Better now, What was he talking about when he said I was gonna you know what? Dad- Oh nothing? he was just saying things to make you scared that's all but I'm here now and your okay. Me- Yeah that's true to okay but Can I leave now? Dad- No you can't you have to stay here for a while because your still not really strong enough to be on your own again for th last few hours? Me- But didn't you tell them you could take care of me? Dad- They didn't listen but it's okay you'll be safer here with them treating with love Like I do you okay? Me- But dad you can't leave I want you to stay here with me? what if I die or something and your not here to see me?  I want you to stay! where are you going? Dad- sweetie I have work to do at my job and I have to keep an eye on the house for your mom while she's still out? You'll be okay you here me don't cry and don't get mad just calm down and stay here I'll be thinking about you the whole time I drive okay and I'll bring your phone so you can stay in touch with me. Me- ( crying) Please don't leave me here, please? Dad- I promise I will be back for you when you get better.