Being Trapped In Emotions

My Dad's Friend Kevin Dooley

He opened The door for me And I was really Impressed at where it was going so far. I had my cell phone with me just in case My dad wanted to call me or If I needed help or something. Kevin- You okay Laura? Me- Yeah I'm Fine. As he Drove off I could see my dad's face thorugh the window in our living room waving bye and looking worried. Kevin- So does your dad always worry this much? Me- Not Really I guess He just really Cares about me. Kevin- Yeah I had that before, someone who alwyas was on my back just to keep me safe from use to happen to me. Me- Something bad happened to you? Kevin- Yeah I use to get beaten by my dad everyday and it wasn't even for a reason. He just hated me I guess. Me- I'm so , so sorry that happened to you These days it just seems like people just wanna kill and abuse. Kevin- I know right I hate living in a world like that. Me- Me too I grew up with it everyday. Kevin- Same here. Me- So Do you like it here , like have you been here for a while? Kevin- yeah I lived here  for a couple  of years but I guess it's okay. I plan on moving someday but not soon. Me- No kidding. As we finally got to his house he parked in his drive way and Told me that We had so much in common when it comes to helping people. '' I agreed''. He opened my door again and Walked me up to his house. He had locked his car and  opened his front door his house wasn't that small but it wasn't that big either. It was perfect for two people I would say. He wanted to walk me through his house and show me around and so he did and I let him. My dad texted me ( Is everything okay?)  I texted back ( Everythings just fine) He must be at the house alone or just with amber because that's the only time he actually really text me stuff like this. Kevin- So what do you wanna do? Me- Whatever your up for? Kevin- I like that about you! okay well how bout we watch a movie and just talk. Me- Okay that sounds good to me. So he puts in the movie 50 first dates and then we just sat  on the couch and talked about things like , Helping people out and what we had in common and how good things would be if blah, blah, blah. He is a good person to talk to and I think I love doing all this stuff with new people. Then we got closer the more things we started sharing about each other. He was keeping me on the edge of my seat with everything he was saying. I just couldn't get enough of what he was saying and so then our hands had accidentally touched and we moved even closer until our breath could actually run into each other. Then we totally started softly touching on each other anywhere and everywhere and it was all getting serious in the room. I didn't mean to start anything but seriously he was to attractive to pass up so I had to. But now I feel like I'm using everyone and I hate feeling like that. He leaned in to kiss me and I was so In shock because I knew that this would happen? and I knew that this is what he wanted me for but not that I don't like it I'm just saying that All older men just want sex from me. We started kissing and it was strong and passionate like More than when me and my dad do. He was more agressive and more into to it than just nice and slow. He had took me to his room and introduced me to his bed. He was taking off my shirt and I was taking off mine, He was kissing like he had never kissed before. Everything was something better than what my own dad did and it's weird? He loved to moan and so he did he was so loud and it was so deep. I was actually loving it because at least we were away from people and we could be as loud as we wanted too but I still feel like Somethings off.  He was so strong and brave to just let everything come and go and well what I mean by that is because he let me come in and then he let go of what he was thinking by having sex with me. It's funny because like everyone I meet wants to just have sex with me? Like do I really attract those types of people. I don't wanna meet my dad's other friend if that's what he's gonna do to me next? Kevin- does your dad let you have sex? Me- Yes. Kevin- Have you ever had sex with anyone yet? Me- MANY OF TIMES? ( OOps) Kevin- Who was this lucky person? Me- Umm One of my friends! ( yeah it was a friend) Kevin- Oh that makes sense.  Me- Kevin Do you really love me? Kevin- Yeah I love you I mean we haven't yet known each other for a year but yeah I'll still love you?