Being Trapped In Emotions

Needed You More

As it turns 9:00 In the morning we have to wake up soon enough to go get  the stuff so I won't have this baby at all. My Stepmom was suppose to come back home today and If I have a baby In my stomach she would either freak or not stress about it? I mean she's dating someone else anyways and well he said she doesn't treat him like He's suppose to be treated but You still never know right?. I can hear my sister's footsteps sneaking down the steps and getting ready for school. I am still laying next to my half naked dad in bed and waiting to get up to go to the doctors and the store right away. He's snoring and I'm just sadly looking out the window. I wish it didn't have to be this way for me? I mean I'm adopted and I might get pregnant and all this other crap is going on that I wish didn't happen? why couldn't my life just be normal like anyting else or anyone elses? ( Because It's not the way you are inside) My stupid emotions keep telling me and How do I stop them from taking over my body and my life? Maybe my emotions is the reason why my dad this to me? and maybe this is why my life is like this now? I hate to say it but I wish that my emotions would just Disappear? But if I didn't have my emotions I would be too serious and probably A pyshcopath by now but I have to make the best out of this and live with what I have. As I'm thinking my dad turns over my way and while he does that He's moaing and groaning while he moves, I tried to wake him up but he just was too sleepy. It's now 9:13 and I have to get to the store quick! Instead I get up myself and I went in his wallet to get the money and I ran out the room. I went in my room grabbed my clothes and hit the door. I walked instead of taking the car and well My feet were already hurting. I had to remeber what I needed, Birth Control pills and Other things including a baby. When I kept walking I seen a Familiar face in the parking lot of the store? I can't remeber what her name was but she remembered me like I was her mother. Girl- Laura! Oh my gosh I am so happy to see you here! what have you and your sister been doing? Me- Nothing just getting into trouble as usual and other stuff like that. Girl-Oh Okay! do you remember my name? Me- No? -Girl  My names jesse! You and your sister use to hang out with me and my little brother we all the time playing wit our dolls! We always use to have fun together. Me- Yeah we did well I have to go now I'm really busy. Jesse- You know we were always friends when we were kids? No fighting and no Hate just real friends. Me- Yeah I know I have to go. Jesse- You are a special person Laura and don't you forget it! Me- Thanks and bye! Jesse-  bye now. As I finally get to the pharmacy I ask the cashier about You know what? And she said.... Cashier- Sweetie how old are you? and why are you asking these questions? Me- Umm You don't know what i've been through to get all the way here and I am not going to just... just let you think I'm not old enough to be doing what I'm doing how old are you Sweetie? Cashier- Okay, okay you don't have to get all angry about it now look.. go down in Isle threee there should be the stuff your looking for. Me- Thank you. So I walked down the isle to te stuff I needed and well it was all too much. So i grabbed the Birth control pills and some other stuff and walked to the cashier checked out all my Stuff and heade right back home. This time Jesse left anf it was in the afternoon. It was getting cloudy outside and I had to walk the long way home. I had to get there in time or else my dad would think that I was kidnapped or something? My sister does'nt get back until 7:30 And it's 2 something now.  It started raining and my bag and clothes were geting soaked! I hate getting wet sometimes and well all the time but this time It was okay for me I loved it. So I tied my bag ina knot and ran faster than the wind. I had to get home quick and I had to get this stuff to my dad so we cannot have a baby and if he ever does wanna have sex with me again I have the right stuff for it now. I know I sound really weird and creepy because I love having sex with my dad and I love being with him but It's just that I have had bad boys before and well to me he's not one of them. They all treated me like I was poison in their mouth and well I never really had a real boyfriend like my dad is to me It's just the way things are for me.