Sanders Sides One-shots

Pretend (OTP - Analogical)

Ship: Analogical

Note is at the bottom!

There were two types of people in the world. 

Type A: Liars

Type B: The ones lied to.

In the mindspace, there was one type A and  three type Bs. The type A was obvious. Lying in plain sight. But no one ever noticed. No one ever noticed the red, puffy eyes under the foundation. No one ever notice the scars hidden under the long sleeves. No one ever noticed the hopelessness hidden behind chocolate brown eyes. No one ever noticed the eye bags hidden under the eyeshadow. No one ever noticed. And Virgil hoped it would stay like that.

And it did. At least for long enough that he could be relieved that no one suffered like he did. No one deserved to feel the constant numbness. Except him. He deserved it. He was the villain, so he deserved the pain. He didn't deserve help either. He didn't even deserve mentioning it. So he didn't. 

But sometimes, it got to be too much. Constantly keeping his walls up was torturous for his mind. He had to make sure that they stayed strong and if there were ever any cracks, he would distance himself long enough to fix the cracks. Never going too far but never coming too close. He had to keep the balance. It was his responsibility and only his. 

So when he could feel the walls collapsing in on themselves, he would lock himself into his room. He made sure he had the perfect excuses for being gone. Coming up with lies was easy for him now. They were second nature, a bad sign that he had lied too often. 

Double checking that the lock was secure and wouldn't somehow loosen itself, he pulled out the guitar case he had hidden underneath his bed. 

Opening up the clasps, he gazed longingly at the glossy, black wood that would lift the burden off his shoulder long enough for him to gain his freedom and fly away in his own paradise. Removing his treasure with great caution, he positioned it and strummed it a few times to see if it was in tune. 

Satisfied, he grabbed a sheet of paper and placed it on a music stand in front of him. On it were lyrics to a song he had written himself.

Playing the introduction, he closed his eyes and immersed himself in the unspoken words of the melody.

As his cue approached, he finally let his walls break.

Smiling behind a cracked mask,
When you ask about my day,
I answer with 'I'm okay'.
I don't like lying, please don't ask.
Don't try changing me,
I'm doing my best,
So give it a rest.
Can't you just leave me be?

It doesn't feel like pain.
Depression doesn't just mean you cry,
Anxiety doesn't just mean you're shy,
I'm just sayin'.
Want to know what to do?
Stop pretending to care,
Cause you were never there
When I called out for you.

My fingers are slipping,
My mind in a fray,
Colours fading it grey,
And my whole world tipping.
My wings are now bare,
My freedom trapped,
My sanity snapped,
But I guess it's fair.

It doesn't feel like pain.
Depression doesn't just mean you cry,
Anxiety doesn't just mean you're shy, 
I'm just sayin'.
Want to know what to do?
Stop pretending to care,
Cause you were never there
When I called out for you.

Why does nothing go right?
Everything will fail,
I try but to no avail.
Will my life ever be bright?
I wonder why I'm still here.
When I look up at the blank sky,
I often let out a sigh,
Realising the answer's never clear.