What Life Holds

Chapter 31

Notes:

Additional Cast:

Jessica Parker Kennedy as Sam Harris

Dominique Provost-Chalkley as Nicky Cooper

Grey Damon as Ashton Sanders

Keiynan Lonsdale as Vincent Brown

Natalie Hall as Brittany

Robin's POV

I wake up with a headache as predicted. I feel awful and there's a bitter taste on my mouth, courtesy of alcohol. I sit up stretching my arms letting the events of the night come back to mind.

After our visit to the center and the hug thing I have been avoiding to have an honest conversation with myself. I tried to keep myself busy those days, hence the outing with the guys last night, but that turned out to be the biggest failure of the week. I should probably blame the alcohol in me, for my slip last night right?

I guess now is the time to have this conversation. Ok. Let's play the scenes in my head.

I admit that when I first saw her in class I thought she was very pretty..like magazine beauty, pretty....but....the moment she said all those things it was a turn off.

Second time at the cafe her presence surprised me and I was still bitter, but she was pretty that day....then in class the way she got panicked when she missed the slides...her panicked state was cute and because I am a good person I helped her.

At the party, she also looked beautiful.The way her hair were down..and she was a really cute drank..I helped her because as women we should help each other and because I felt bad about the things I said....and then in my bed, helping her out..it felt weird because I was undressing a stranger, that's why I felt weird..right? Or the moment I touched her shoulder...that was not me liking her sexually right?? Noooo definitely not...right?

But after that....getting to know her, misunderstandings behind, it was nice...she is a dork, a really really cute dork..and funny as well, sassy and smart too...and the way she looks with her glasses..it's just so cute! All those texts and the things I got to know about her? She is a nice person..no, she is Miss perfect!

Ok so far what I feel is completely platonic right? I just appreciate her as a person, as a friend... all people find their friends cute and perfect, right? I mean I would never call Sam cute but Sophie is...yes that is a totally innocent appreciation, nothing more.

And the thing after the youth center? I was just surprised she hugged me..that's why my heart was beating fast and I spaced out..I was startled..not feeling anything rather than platonic.. that's what happens when someone surprises you, am I right? Yes, I am...it has nothing to do with how good it felt to be in her arms..I am a cuddly person, Sam hugs me all the time, no big deal.

Soooo.....now that I know that this just platonic and I feel nothing for Sophie let's go back to last night...in my defense I was drunk. And it made me say Sophie's name because Sara...Sonia? Yeah sonia, was a brunette, like Sophie and Sam and a dozen other friends I have. Saying Sophie's name was random. I could have said Sam, or Violet ! I was in no way thinking about her curly hair, or her bright green eyes that remind me of forest in spring..or her kissable lips..gosh they are so kissable, though, like, they look soft like pillows and sweet like marshmallows...I wish I could just.......

OH God.......how did I miss it? Seriously how oblivious am I ? Fuck.. I like her...fuck.

I get up and start pacing my room...I can not like her...no. She is my friend, who is straight. She is my straight friend.There is no way something could happen between us no matter how much I might want to. No! She is straight. Forbidden territory, too much trouble. Stop thinking about it. It will never happen so you Robin, you horny lesbian, need to see her as a friend.I want to be her friend and her friend only. I am not some horny person, I can switch off the things I feel. Sophie is an interesting person, sweet and innocent and I will not lose this friendship over something that will never happen. Plus, after Nat, I promised myself would stay away from relationships till I was ready to do it again, or if I have found the right person. Sooooo. No, this ends here.