What Life Holds

Chapter 85

Notes:

Additional Cast:

Margot Robbie as Susan

Vanessa's POV

I step inside the ΚΕΓ house quite hesitant I must admit. Nathan's birthday party is taking place tonight and Joseph has said that the news have been spread all over campus. I know I've been debating over my head to come or not to come for almost all day but now that I am actually here, I feel a new wave of doubt passing over me. Alice gives me an encouraging smile, probably sensing my tension. She is absolutely one of the best things that happened to me as a freshman. I've found such a wonderful and supporting friend in her, with the ability of listening to me talking way too much and in detail about the same thing over and over again.

"Everything alright over there?" She whispers to me and I give her a nod as an answer.

Joseph proposes to go for a drink but I decline the proposal politely. I don't want to interfere. Not that Alice and Joseph make me feel uncomfortable but it is their first big event as a couple and I want them to enjoy it to the fullest. We drove here together and that really took some of my tension off, now though is the the time to give them some time alone. I am sure Alice will have a ton to tell me tomorrow. I greet them goodbye and I start seeking for the birthday boy.

The frat house is not as crowded as on Halloween. The reason could be that now that is spring, every door and window is wide open so I believe the majority of the guests must be outside. But what do I know about it? I've been to a frat party only once. It seems like ages ago. I have come here a couple times more, back when I had that history project with Nathan. Those were good times. Except the last one, which was after the kiss and despite my biggest efforts I broke down in a really bad way. I ran out of the house, blind from the tears, walking unconsciously until Nathan came after me. Crying in front of him for him was pretty ironic considering he had no clue about it. Yet he was so tender and sweet, staring at me with eyes full of worry. I can't help but smile reliving the moment in my head.

Nathan is so much more than what he lets people think of him. I wish he could just be himself without getting concerned about how others expect or want him to be. This is my conclusion after all this time that I know him. Or starting to know him? I don't know, I guess I've gotten a fair glimpse of him but that still I don't entirely know him. It seems like he doesn't let anybody in. Like he doesn't want anyone in. There is also a possibility that as usual I am overthinking it but that is how I see it.

Anyway, if I wanted to psychoanalyze Nathan with no interruption, I could do it at home in my pizzies , not all dressed up with all this music playing. I hope he likes my outfit. I did my best with my hair as well. I hope he likes it too and I hope he likes me. Or not? Does it matter really? It shouldn't matter. I would want him to like me though.

Anyway, back to the point of my decision to come to Nathan's birthday party. I have to find him first. I've looked in every room in the house. Well, obviously on the ground floor. I've got a feeling that I should not try to look for Nathan at the bedrooms on the first floor. I think I'll have better luck at the garden. There is a chance though that Nathan is busy on the first floor. I shake my head to shake this thought off and step outside. There is definitely more people out here. I think I prefer spring parties. Not that it was too cold on Halloween this year but still in April you can stay outside, breathe fresh air and not get stomped on. There is nothing that indicates this is a birthday party. Alice and I put indeed much more effort and creativity into organizing her party. Every now and then there are tables with tons of bottles and people dancing on them or doing jello shots or drinking from a barrel upside down. There is noticeably much alcohol involved in these activities.