DEEP ( Completed)

Chapter 17

                                                                                                     

                                                                                   Shi'day

I sat at the kitchen table with tears streaming down my cheeks. My heart, my baby, my love, my mother was taken from me. How could someone be so cold to take her from us?  She never did no wrong to nobody I just didn't understand why??? What was going on??? This just wasn't right. I looked down at my test that I was so proudly to show her and shook my head as tears continued to come. At that point I had no reason to keep going with this, there was no use she would never be around to see all the hard work I did to be like her. A few more tears fall as I balled the test up and threw it the trash alone with all my dreams to become a nurse. I was giving up everything j once worked so hard for.

I walked in Rapheal's room. We both locked eyes as I rushed over to him and rapped my arms around him as we both cried together. A few seconds later our dad entered the room and rapped his arms around both of us. My brother and my father was all I had left we had to be strong for each other at our time of need.

                                                               The funeral~

            

                                                                Mishon

I definitely had to pull myself together to attend Paula's funeral. I secretly blamed myself for her death I felt like it was ways I could have stopped it from happening. I didn't have anything to dress up with so I threw on a black polo shirt, a pair of fresh jeans, my Jay's and a black snap back with my chains and gold bracelet.  I heard a knock at my door. It was Damon and Lil. Travis, I let them in. I hadn't spoken or seen them in a few days. I was actually avoiding them for real and they knew that.

"Sup bruh" lil. Travis said dapping me up walking in. Damon dapped me up next then came in behind lil. Travis.

"What y'all doing here"? I asked still getting ready.

"We came to check up on you. Haven't heard from you" Damon said.

"I wonder why" I mumbled.

"I know you angry bruh but -" Damon said but I cut him off facing him.

"But what??? Man y'all kilt that woman. She was very close to me and now her family will never get to see her again" I said trying to hold in my anger.

Damon sighed "look Mishon yo I know this don't mean much but I'm sorry it was like my dad got all in my head and shit. It's like nobody understands how he makes me feel about the decisions I make. All I'm tryna do is earn his respect... I know I fucked up tho and I'm sorry" Damon admitted.

I looked at him and seen that he meant what he was saying. Me and Damon been boys for a long time I knew when he was lying and when he was telling the truth and in this case he was telling the truth.

"You don't gotta do shit to earn ya pops respect. Your his son the respect should already be there" I honestly said.

He nodded his head, I could tell he felt bad but it was nothing he could change now. The damage was already done.

"Look I'm ready to head out... Unlike y'all I got a friend to bury" I said being smart.

"Nah bruh... We got a friend to bury" lil. Travis said standing up.

I turned and looked at lil. Travis weird.

" I'm going with you bruh... I'm not letting you go alone" he said. I dapped him up with a brotherly hug.

"I'll roll to" Damon said looking away. I could tell he Really didn't wanna go but I guess he didn't wanna be left out.

We left out and headed to Paula's funeral. The church was full of people mourning from the front to the back. I stood in the back with my boys thinking of all the memories me and Paula had and how she was like a mother to me.

Tears fall from my eyes and I silently prayed for her and god to forgive me for what I allowed and what I couldn't change. The ceremony was beautiful and the preacher preached a good word he opened my ears to a lot of things.

                                                  After the funeral ~

I was standing close by the church by myself in deep thought when the dude Lawrence a.k.a known L walked over to me, I recognized him even though i knew he probably didn't remember me. 

"Don't I know you"? He asked. I guess i was wrong... he did remember me.

I extended my hand for him and he shook it "Yeah, I'm Mishon. Paula was a good friend to me and my family" I said.

He nodded "Yeah I remember you. You done grown up. How you been"? Lawrence asked.

"I been Ard. Look I'm sorry bout ya lost she was a good woman" I said.

"Yeah... Thanks for you know coming and paying respects to my wife" Lawrence said. I looked at him and could see the hurt written all over his face, how could i tell this man i knew what happen to his wife, i was so confused.

He talked to me for a little bit more then He shook my hand again with a brotherly hug and he walked away. I stood there watching everyone come out of the church. Paula popped back up in My mind I was really gonna miss that woman, she taught me a lot. I looked back up at the church and had to stop and double look at what I was seeing. I watched as this girl came walking out the church alone. My eyes was glued to her but she didn't see me.....

Nah.... Wait... It can't be her....