The Middle (GxG) (Sequel to The Beginning)

Chapter 51

-LYNN'S P.O.V-

   I ran downstairs faster than I have ever ran before. She wasn't in the room. Bathroom in the bathroom.
   I try and open the door.. of course she locked it.
"JAMIE OPEN THE DOOR."
   A deafening silence.
"JAMIE OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR NOW"
   ... She couldn't have already.
    I slam all my force into the door a few times before it busts open. The sight... the blood... her blood. My loves blood.
   I rush to her side, taking the towel and wrapping her leg. Her wrists.. her wrists..
   I run and grab more towels and wrap them around her wrists. Her lips turning a light shade of blue.
"DAAAAD!!!"
"DAAAAAAAADDDD"
   I screamed with all I have. He came running.
"Please... call.. for help." I was saying between sobs.
   Her eyes closed... But she had a big smile. She was happy to leave. Happy.. I got mad just enough to make her happy to leave this world.
   I press my lips to hers... her cold.. blueish..lips..
"I'm so sorry.. I.. overreacted. I didn't let you explain.. 6 months... And I was meant to call you my wife.. I overreacted. I should have stayed and listened. I shouldn't have told Abby ..that you would be single.. I shouldn't... please.. I'm so sorry for leaving you again... you'll come back from this... you'll come back from this.. And I will do all in my power to fix it.. just... stay with me.. please.. I'm so sorry."
   I press my lips to hers again. Nothing. A falling pulse.

   What seems like forever... they arrive. Before I leave with them, I find and grab her rings. Sitting in the ambulance with her and dad.. I hold the rings tightly.
"What happened exactly?" Paramedic asks.
"I was being a terrible fiancee. We had an argument. A big fight. I overreacted to something... And left her alone.. when I knew she would try and do this again if I left her."
"She's done this before?"
"Not like this... no." I laugh lightly "I was always going to make a great wife, huh? If she wakes up, she will just hate me.."
"And previous depressions?"
"For about 6 years, yeah. Over her dad. But she was happy with me... was."
"Did she get help?"
"Yes. But they could never help. Neither could medications. Eventually she just gave up on seeking help.. And then I came along. Kept her happy for a while. Left her. Got back together... left her, she put herself in a coma.. I proposed.. 6 months away from the wedding and here we are. Her rings held tightly in my hand because I said she was better off single because I overreacted. So.."
"You stopped the bleeding. They will set her with blood bags to help her regain. I wouldn't think this sleep will last as long as a coma."
"And when she wakes up she will see me and hate me. But at least she will be alive."
"Will you be after?"
"I don't think I am alive now.. so I don't know."
"Every couple has their rough patches. And if it's true love, you always make it through."
"How can you be so sure?"
"Have faith, honey. Just have faith."
   I nod.

   2 days... I mean, she has her color back and the doctor said she will wake up soon. But why would she even want to?
   What am I to say to her? 'Hey, Koala. I love you. I'm sorry I overreacted. Was a dick and left you for a third time. If you could forgive me, that would be awesome. I don't care what you feel or felt for Abby because I know you wouldn't actually cheat. I trust you for that and I'm sorry that you felt like you did.. But I should have said that then... prevented this. I forgive you for not telling me, which is stupid because it's harmless. Can you forgive me? No? Okay, I'll be seeing you in the next life, my love. I hope one day you will forgive me...' ...
   Cause saying that would just be stupid. I said it before. I said it before...and I shouldn't be in the position to say it again but I'm because I'm fucking stupid.
   I look down, her hand in mine. I put her rings back on.. But know it's temporary. I know it will be.
   It seems like forever is passing. Forever is forever and it's without her. How am I to live my life without Jamie James?
   Dee has come in and out, along with the rest of her family but I have stayed. Dee's job is important, I know Jamie is important.. but Dee saves hundreds of lives per week. So I know why she isn't here. Everyone else has other things to deal with and want me to fix this on my own.
   School is on Christmas break. But it won't be a Christmas without Jamie. It's not a home without Jamie. It's nothing.. I am nothing without Jamie.
  I rest my head on the hospital bed, keeping her hand in mine.
"If you would just wake up."
   I wish she would. I want her back but I know she won't come easily. She has a right to be hesitant. But if she loves me, maybe.
   If she does love me. If she does even care anymore. She thinks I don't care. That's my fault. Here she is probably stuck in her coma dream watching me walk away over and over.
   I was suppose to be mad at her. Suppose to be mad because she wouldn't tell me that. But Abby is right. Jamie would never really cheat on me. She apologized and I rejected it. And left..
   I was suppose to be the one mad. And now she's going to wake up, angry at me. Mad I left again. Mad I left her again. And her mind will race for ways to end it again. I'm such a monster.
   She will see that when she wak..
   Her hand pulls from mine quickly. I look up instantly. Her eyes already swimming with tears.
"I don't want to fucking be here, Lynndsie. STOP saving me."
"No."
"Why are you even here? Last I heard you didn't care."
   She looks at her hand... And takes off her rings.
"Please.."
"Save it."
"Koala.. please."
"DON'T FUCKING CALL ME THAT."
"Please.. I fucked up.."
"You think? I felt guilty, said my sorries. Told the truth." She shakes her head. She rolls her eyes and hands me the rings.
"I won't. I won't let this be the end."
"It was you that ended it, Lynndsie. Not me."
"I need you."
"You should have thought about that sooner, shouldn't have you?"
"Please, Jamie. I beg you. Just listen to me.."
"Wow you sound like you actually care."
"I DO CARE!" I take her hand in mine. "Just listen."
   She tries to pull her hand away again but I hold it tighter.
"I fucked up again. I said things out of anger. I did things that were from overreacting. Again. And here I am begging for you back. I need you. In 6 months you are meant to be my wife. In 6 months I am going to take you around the world. But I need you... I can't do this without you. I know I fucked up. But if you still love me.. maybe you can let me try to make it up. I can't sleep. I can't eat.. all I am left doing is thinking about you or finding good ways in my mind to kill myself."
   Her silence is loud... Her hand doesn't part from mine... for a little over 20 minutes if I have to guess.
"Why do you do this?"
"Because I'm really fucking stupid."
"That's an understatement."
   I nod.
"I can't keep doing this."
"I understand..." I part our hands. "I understand, Jamie."
... I hold back tears. Everything is broken... "I'll leave you alone now."
"You really are fucking stupid."
"What?"
"I can't keep doing this. Meaning you can't keep doing this to me."
"What?"
"Can I have my rings back?"
"What?"..
...what? She..
"If you NEVER do this again. And I mean NEVER, Ly. I would like my rings back."
"I won't. I won't. I promise to gods I won't... But are you sure?"
"Yeah."
    I take her hand again, slipping her rings into their rightful place. She takes my hand and brings it to her lips.
"Koala.."
"Ly."
"Can I please hold you?"
"I would like that."
    I climb into the bed next to her and hold onto her as tight as I can without hurting her.
"I'm so sorry.."
"It will be okay, Ly."
"Can I have a kiss, Koala?" I felt tears drop... "the last kiss I gave you.. your lips..were so cold."
   Her head turns to look at me, her eyes show confusion.
"I thought... maybe if I ..maybe you would wake.. maybe you would wake up before the ambulance.." I shake my head and look down. "Not just that.. I.. needed you to come back... in hopes a kiss would bring you back to me... so I can ask as for forgiveness that I don't deserve."
"Just shut up and kiss me, Ly."
   My head snapped up, eyes meeting hers. A small smile pulls at her lips.
   I slowly lean in, she closes the gap. The kiss is small but it's a kiss. A passionate, emotional kiss.
   I cup her cheeks with my hand. We part lips.
"I'm so sorry. Please don't leave me... I know I'm an idiot. But I beg you, Jamie... please don't leave me."
"I won't leave you."
"Thank you.."
    Her lips find mine again, soft short kisses but still kisses.
"How long have I been out?"
"2 days."
   She smiles. "Still wanna go to a bachelor party?"
"Does that mean it's still 6 months away?"
"Yeah, babe."
   My stomach does backflips to her words.
"Then yeah."
"When do get released from this hellhole? I want to go home."
"I can ask. But it means I have to get up."
"Will you come back?"
"I always will."
   She nudges me to go ask. I kiss her cheek before walking out for a nurse.
"When will my fiancee be able to return home?"
"I can get discharge papers now."
"Thank you."
   Now... to ask dad.
~Is.. the bathroom cleaned...
~And door replaced. Is she coming home? Did you guys work it out? -Dad.
~Yeah. We did. Thank you for helping me. I'm sorry it got so out of hand..
~Shit happens, Lynn. Love is a powerful thing, causes people to do stupid things but it works out in the end. Just look to me and your mother. -Dad.
~Mother is a goddess.
~Damn right. -Dad.
~I miss her.
~I know, I do too. But she went home and she is free. -Dad.
~Free to haunt you.
~Yeah, it gets annoying sometimes. -Dad.
~lol. I'm bringing the love of my life home. I'll see you in maybe an hour or two I think we might go out to eat.
~Alright. -Dad.
   I walk back in the room.
"So you're ready to go. I have to ask you something though."
"Hm?"
"Will you go on a date with me?"
"In a hospital gown?"
"I don't care what you wear. Just not naked."
   I walk over and sit on the edge of the bed.
"I could go for some food. But I'll get fat."
"You have a fucking sexy six pack. Not going to happen any time soon."
"Sexy?"
"Mmhm."
    She smirks.
    Should I find it.. odd.. how.. her moods suddenly go.. 180 a lot?

"Wanna play the game?"
"Oooo. Yes."
"From what number to what number? Then you can ask."
"Or we can do it random. Seeing how she already knows the game?"
"Okay, pick, love."
   She smiles. "14."
"Can I ask why?"
"7 and 14 are my favorite numbers."
"I knew 7. Not 14."
"Mhm."
   I pull her hand to my lips. Kissing her rings.
"Promise to never take these off again?"
"Yeah, babe."
   After eating I add tip from card. It feels nice.
'Merry Christmas. I hope it's a good one for you. Thank you for another date with my fiancee. Next time we come in, she will be my wife.' I write on the check.
"Want me to carry you, Koala?"
"Thought you'd never ask."

   Sitting her on the bed for a moment almost seems like nothing happened. But it did. And I will do all in me to make sure she is happy.
"Ly?"
   Anything and everything. I need her in my life. She doesn't know how much.
"Babe?"
"Mm?"
"Where did you go?"
"I was drowning in your beautiful eyes."
   She smiles. I wasn't lying, technically.
"And promising myself something."
"Explain?"
"To do anything and every single thing possible to keep you happy. To make up for my mistakes."
"You could start by giving me a kiss, boxers and my sports bra."
   I smile. "Of course, love."
   I lean in to kiss her, not particularly a long kiss, but not short either. Spilling every emotion into it before she pulls back and pushes me back.
"This gown is itchy."
"I'm on it, Koala."