Truth

Love and affection

I kneeled solemnly by my bedside; me and the lord had some serious talking to do- my lustful feelings were most definitely sinful and I didn't take to being a filthy sinner very well. I clutched my prayer beads as my lips quivered ; I could feel the guilty tears flow down my cheeks my chest heaved and my knees trembled.  I laid it all out to the lord-my surroundings not meaning anything significant; I was in the zone.

So much so that I didn't realize when he entered; I lifted my head up slowly - our eyes connected and he spoke.

"I-I didn't mean to intrude- I just wanted to apologize; I shouldn't have crossed the line with you - you're a good girl."

"It's not all your fault Chris - I let you get away with it cause I liked it."

He shook his head ; his voice calm and gentle-

"Baby girl, you can't go around letting men like me get to you like that; it'll wreck you"

"I'm new to a lot Chris; this is all new."

He made his way over to me slowly, I observed him as he knelt beside me ; suddenly feeling the need to burrow my head into his chest- he was speaking the truth and it endeared me to him even more. He opened his arms widely - obviously he had read my mind; I leaned into his chest craving his comfort and advice; he wrapped his arms around my snuggly - his embrace warm and fatherly.

"That's why you've got to learn fast baby girl; can't stay naiive forever-the world just doesn't work that way."

"Is this how you'll talk to Royalty?"

He smirked at me; " When Royalty reaches your age I'll have a iron fist prepared for who ever tries anything- imma catch a charge for my baby."

"You'll be a really good father."

He loosened his grip as proceeded to rise top his feet; his voice was soft and sincere-

"You really think so?"

I smiled at him knowingly; " I know so."

"I never thought I'd have a daughter; I always dreamed of having a little boy- a mini me; I was going to teach him to dance- how to pull in the girls ; ride a biycle , play basketball..the lord has a sense of humor." he chuckled nervously

" It must be so awkward- having a daughter .."

"I worry every night that she'll find a man like me when she gets older; I wake up in cold sweats thinking that she'll be hurt- she doesn't deserve a man like me as a dad; she deserves more than that." His head was burried in his hands; his body crouched against a wall.

" You can teach her so much more than another man could- you can be her guide; her bestfriend"

"I'm a felon- a woman beating felon; she's gonna know that someday." his lips quivered as he spoke his voice broken and impassioned.

"My little girl is going to hate me...and I deserve it."

I crouched beside him ; wrapping my arms around his shoulders - he leaned into my bosom as I played with his hair.

"She'll be mad for a little, confused for a little and she will forgive; at the end of the day - you will still be her daddy-and no one can change that."

"I miss her- whenever I'm on tour; my heart aches- I want to be with her everyday..I don't want to miss a moment."

"Why don't you give her a call?"

His face glowed at the thought:"You think she'd be up-I woke her last time and her momma got mad." I pondered this for a moment - "Well it's 11:30 here according to the clock, is she at school around this time?"