Truth

To love someone

"So Craig what have you been up to since your last single - Magic was a total bop; but what are your plans for the future?"

Jai was enjoying her assignment thus far - the weather in England was perfect to her; rainy and chilly perfect for cozying up to someone special. Her someone being Chris, Chris Brown a man formerly accused of abuse - R&B's current bad boy; she was still struggling to reconcile the facts of his past to his current. To deny that the comments made about him didn't affect her would be a lie - there was a level of emotional baggage that came from being a fellow female and having domestic violence survivors constantly message her - seeking to get her "out". 

She was coming to realize that most people were unable to be nuanced in their understanding of forgiveness and individual growth- the world of fandoms was very black and white, good vs evil, us vs them and it nauseated her. Being in London and spending time with Craig had been a welcome change especially since she wasn't as attached to Chris Brown here and most people just saw her as a young journalist working for a massive media company. 

The reality of her image being slightly tarnished by his past sucked majorly- but somehow she had developed a very thick skin. In her mind, it was better to know the levels that he could reach in the early; at the very least if something happened she was forewarned. 

 Despite the mental gymnastics occurring in her mind; the interview with Craig continued to flow- he shared a birthday with Chris and was a generally chill sort, suave talented - well-liked and attractive. She knew he was less famous than Chris but somehow she began to fantasize of what it would be like if instead of being Chris Brown's girlfriend she was  Craig David's - the backlash would be far less. She hated herself for feeling like that but she was never the sort to lie to herself.

She loved Chris - but loving him carried a stigma and a burden; even for team breezy unfair as it might have been, it was understandable. He had been a right mess and disappointed a great deal of people- but she also knew just how sensationalized many of the stories and events surrounding him were in her researching for the docu-series she had come to realize that a great many of the stories told by supposed victims were fabricated for personal gain. It might have sounded anti-feminist out loud but women could be cunning and conniving creatures and not everyone who yelled "me too" was actually under attack. She also knew that some of the stories had some smidgen of truth in between all of the sensation and lies- that part made her feel accountable a bit guilty even. 

But people do change- irregards how toxic their past may have been - and she knew also just how deeply he regretted his actions. The thing about actions being that they could never be erased only moved forward from. There was no way for him to ever be redeemed to be seen for just his talent and his soul- then again that was just like life mistakes made never being able to be erased especially in this day and age. Being a journalist Jai knew first hand that behind many gleaming smiles laid sorted histories - Chris was far from the only abusive man to exist and his actions paled in comparison to some whom the world heralded as saintly. 

Craig gave her a warm hug as the interview ended- it had been nothing short of excellent and she knew that Ms. Polleon was well pleased. Having Jai be linked to Chris was surprisingly positive for Shine On as many artists who were once weary to interview with them felt more at ease knowing that they were cool with "Breezy" it was a definite in to the more urban market - Shine On was known by black people but most of them had previously thought that they were a sell-out to the white man. They had tried for years to compete with the Shade Room and Hollywood Unlocked to no avail - until little Miss Jai Summers caught the attention of one Chris Brown. 

It had surprised them - as they originally thought it might hinder their brand; they had wanted to do the docu-series with Drake or Bruno Mars initially but they deemed Shine On beneath them - similar to how Beyonce and Rihanna now did. Funny how the publications who helped to boost you in the beginning when no one really knew you, become too big for you when the white publications come around. Even Chris had seemed elusive - but a talk with his manager revealed that he was just catious due to his many negative experiences in dealing with the press which was understandable. Jai had been able to make him feel comfortable - and the docu-series revealed that Chris Brown was still extremely popular. In one night the docu-series had rung in 4 million viewers; whoever had said that he was canceled clearly didn't know what they were talking about.

In Shine On head offices Janice Polleon could be heard with a voice no higher than a wispher.

"You know Marie that Chris Brown was surprisingly one of the most respectful and easy to work with celebrities we have ever done a docuseries on."

"I hate to say it but I agree with you Janice- he shocked me. He was far nicer than that guy Aaron Carter"

"Oh he was an absolute mess, remember when we did the series on Jay Z, what an arrogant man"

"But not more arrogant than Kanye and ick Jason Derulo he just rubbed me wrong- I mean how could a scummy dirt bag woman beater like Chris Brown come and be so humble and pleasant. I'm ashamed to say that I kinda like him now"

"He does have a lot of rythmn in that waist"

"Ooo"

If you were in Hollywood long enough you would come to learn that judging a book by its cover was a definite wrong. But the contridiction to that also rang true image was everything and so although Shine On had begun to slightly soften the tone in reference to Chris they still threw their obligatory subtle jabs so the feminazis would be content.

Many a reporter kept secret the true personalities of many to keep up with an agenda- it was just the way the game was played.

Jai knew this all too well and she began to hate it more and more each day. The heirarchy of Hollywood made it near impossible to critique some persons, whilst simultaneously leaving others as a target that simply had to be attacked to show that you were on the right team. Being with Chris had showed her just how skewed perceptions could really be and how simple it was to manipulate the masses. It made her want to hurl on the plane ride back home.

Right then and there she vowed to think for herself with the evidence she knew for herself and from her own personal experience. This would apply across the board, no longer would she be a puppet- instead she would be a balanced judge allowing for both sides of a coin to be analyzed.

She didn't know it yet but that moment on the plane would be the beginning to an unforeseen excelleration in her career.

At least things in one area of her life would be on the up and up.