Truth

Get it together

There's an inner conflict that comes when you are dating a man who was abusive; there's always a thin line between them being fully rehabilitated and you being their next victim. But I had no room to judge, being frank with my inner voice I knew that he literally saved my life. If he was still an abuser then I was still an unbalanced weirdo prone to finding all kinds of methods of self-harm and suicidal ideations.

Me and Chris made a pact, I'd see him as who he was right now and he'd do the same- accountability still being a massive factor to everything. We'd also go to couple's therapy every week, which explained my current location in a boho-chic counselor's office in downtown LA. 

The cost per session was around $1000; (celebrity life for you) but we could both afford it- in the months after leaving rehab, I had done a deeply personal series on mental health for CBC Canada interviewing various survivors of suicide and sharing my own story.  After that, I worked with the BBC  on a similar programme , and Channel 4 investigating the treatment of mentally ill prisioners. 

My name was getting out there as a serious investigative and entertainment reporter and I was about to have my own show The Invisible Line - in which I interviewed criminals, infamous individuals, pornstars you name it. I was set to make $50,000 per season. Yeah , I know some people made much more but $50,000 per season was nothing to sneeze at for a show contracted to run for five years on the ID Channel in addition I was set to host various other projects over there at ID.  Your girl was booked and busy.

It was suggested that I continue working so I'd have some purpose to my life; however- I was also on a four month vacation to get my mental health in order. RCA loved that idea and for the first time in ages resident workoholic Christopher went on an offical vacation.

No music, no Black Pyramid stuff, No Mechanical Dummy- vacation time. Frankly both of us felt awkward due to it all not to mention the lovely Covid-19 who decided to join the party. Dr. Saul gazed at us with intent , the man was a short balding Indo- American but boy was he perceptive and dear I say intimidating. 

"Now, Christopher according to my notes this is your first real vacation in over five years would that sentiment be correct?"

I watched him wriggle uncomfortably in his seat; his legs twitching- Chris has ADHD and at this present moment he was really struggling to concentrate due to not remembering to take his medication. I had come to learn that to calm himself before interviews he'd smoke high quantities of weed but as a part of our wholistic therapy drinking and any form of drug use was strictly off limits.

"That would be right"

" Jaiah, you too have been working at a rapid pace"

I simply nodded my head up and down , a little more and me and the bobble head from Are We there yet would be in stiff competition. I was extremly anxious for some reason, let's just say that me and chris were not having the best mental health day.  

This couple intrigued me, as much as I had my biases I could clearly see that a genuine connection did exist; Brown had certainly decided to stick with the programe of detox and so did Summers. It was a level of commitment to improvement that I haven't seen , even from sterotypically more "stable" couplings. 

They were tortured souls, but tourted souls who genuinely wanted to be healed- I needed to get them to relax , break down the heavy icefield that I could feel forming within the room. 

I glanced at Brown's twitching foot and suddenly I knew the answer.

" Chris , Jaiah - I want you to try something'' Their eyes glanced at me in an amused confusion, following my arm as it reached across the room to a radio that I had sitting unassumedly in the corner of my office. 

The sounds of Mambo no 5 filled the room, and I rose to my feet to dance- before guesturing to Chris to join in on the festivities, through an unspoken dance challenge. My 5'6 frame did it's best to keep into the rythmn of the pulsating beat, I hadn't exercised in ages. My legs felt like they wanted to cave, the sweat was dripping from my forehead in bullets. 

Thankfully after about five mintues of exasperated dancing- he finally took the hint and guestered to Jaiah to start dancing. It was a Latin Mix, and after a couple mintues I took my seat and observed them.

Their bodies intertwined as he led the dance , Jaiah was clearly the more clumsy dancer - but he took his time as he guided her across the floor. I could feel the intense passion fill the room , watching how they looked at each other I could see the love reflecting. The tension in their bodies loosening up as they relaxed.

He went in for the kiss , and I felt my own heart rate increase- before remebering that this was not a romantic comedy, but a therapy session.  He cleared his throat.

"Now let's have a chat"