Truth

Undecided

I awoke from my slumber to find her in my arms; as I adjusted my eyes to the galaxy lights of my studio I found my hands desiring to trail down her very supple breasts. My hands were trembling, heart-pounding, throat dry. 

Now I know what you're thinking ..I'm Chris Brown an R & B superstar; truth be told I'm an animal in bed- but that kind of animalistic sex is not for girls like Jai. She reminded me a little bit of Jordin yeah as in Sparks I could remember it like it was yesterday; from the time Jordin entered the room, I could tell she was interested her face went bright red and honestly I wanted to turn up the charm but I just couldn't. 

It wasn't simply because of Robyn; to be honest, I had slipped up and cheated on her before, and before you get your undies in a knot just know that it was mutual aite. That's the life of a traveling artist, Jordin wasn't like Robyn exotic a little rough around the edges- Nah Jordin was a sheltered church girl and as wild as I can be; I've always had respect for virgins. 

Believe it or not, I was a church boy myself and there was a time where I wished I could wait until marriage and do things the right way. I wanted to marry Robyn, I wanted children and a happy committed relationship I just wasn't capable of that at the time. Sometimes demons you think you defeated come to haunt you and change the course of your entire life - as I'm sure you already know. Hell the tabloids love to remind me that I'm a woman beater a dangerous thug hide yo kids hide yo wife - Chris Brown is in town.

Christopher and Chris are not the same person; even though sometimes I have to question the truthfulness of those sentiments. I actually hate confrontation and fighting, yeah go figure; I'm loyal, hard-working and a family man but I fight with my other half the angry guy that I see in paparazzi clips and in some old pictures. Half of the time I'm more depressed than mad but I have my pride- ha pride I can admit that I'm just scared for people to see how soft I really am. How easily I hurt ; thats why as much as I miss Christopher sometimes- I vibe with Chris there's a need for him to exist better people be scared of me than for me to be consistently hurt.

I gaze at Jai; I wonder if she'd like Christopher  I get the feeling she would. Then again maybe she's just attracted to me cause I seem dangerous - the forbidden fruit. That image that gives fans soaked underwear, I wonder how hers are. I bet her kitty be plump as hell, girls with her shape normally have pretty thick ones. Suddenly I feel dirty; gently I remove my body from the bed. 

I need air, but somehow the thought of leaving her in the studio alone is an unpleasant one; I want to talk to her as soon as she wakes up , I glance across at her body to see that that time is about to arrive.