Truth

Dr Dr

"I see you spent a great deal of time at church Miss Summers; that's very good and all. But I realize that you've been using it as a deflection for the past twenty minutes."

"In seven years you attempted suicide 19 times and this is the first time that you have been taken to see an actual phyciatrist. "

Jai wanted to jump out through the window but she couldn't. No one had ever forced her to go past the safe blanket of; " oh I'm alright I'm trusting in Jesus" before. This lady was truly getting under her skin.

"I used to see Dr. James- Denny."

"Barely and Dr James Denny is a psychologist not a psyhciatrist and even more so she is not a counseling physcologist persay as her speciality is criminal physcology. "

"The steps to recovery Miss Summers lay behind your excuses. You are severally mentally ill at this present moment and I need you to understand this so we can go forward.

"You attempted to swallow Mr. Brown's bipolar medication; which according to his own admission to the paramedics was not even fully tested on him yet. I have seen your records young lady and you have also attempted to hang yourself- jump off a bridge, shoot yourself, drown yourself , ingest paint thinners..."

"You have needed critical help for a very long time. And I am here to give that to you."

The room went deathly quiet ; as tears of frustration and confusion ran down her face- for Jai a nerve was definitely hit.

Dr. Jesen was quick to offer her some tissue and a warm hug.

Jai returned it just as she knew she would.

"Now that you are beginning to accept things as they are I want to find out about your relationship with Mr.Brown"

"What does he provide for you?"

Jai took a deep breath; she knew that at Safe Haven sessions lasted up to two hours and she also knew that Dr.Jesen would see right through any lies.

"Validation I guess, I had a crush on him from the time I was 8 meeting him in person and realizing that he found me attractive made me feel desirable."

" What do you think you provide him?"

"Stability"

" I know that you are smart enough to understand that your relationship with him is co-dependant. I can also see from my notes that you feel guilty about the union.  It is easy for me to comprehend why that could be so- but I'm going to flip your notions of what is being provided on it's head."

"What happened when Christopher left you alone?"

"I poured myself into my work and I pushed myself to be more successful."

"You became a workoholic - continue on"

"There's not much else to say Dr. Jesen"

"I'll help you- Christopher may be flawed and have abusive tendencies. But he is also very reliable, extremely consistent and steady, his obsessive tendencies made you feel special because you were so deprived of that attention as a child. Giving you a deeper level of stability than you realized. It is very possible for flawed and broken men to still be able to bring some level of positive traits into a relationship."

"When he left your scapegoat left; your excuse for not taking care of yourself left and you were stuck with yourself and the instability that had never been rectified."

Jai crossed and uncrossed her legs nervously. She was correct, but the truth was extremely difficult to digest.

"I'm not here to suggest that the two of you break up- I have spoken in confidence to Chris's psychiatrist and I believe that he is capable of having a healthy relationship with you after intensive therapy. He's not narcissistic, phsycopathic or sociopathic- he is simply damaged. And we can fix that."

"I simply want you to fully acknowledge where you are at and see things as they truly are in your mind which is currently ill"

Jai could do nothing but nod it was as if her mouth no longer worked.

"Normally I talk far less; but you have a habit of deluding yourself into thinking things which are seriously affecting you are not. Consider today your wake up call."

"I can assure next time you will be the person in the driver's seat."

" I have homework for you; write down your most positive qualities and negative qualities. Also write a hundred word essay describing the monsters in your head or in other words your insecurities/fears"

'Ill dismiss you early today; looking forward to chatting tommorow."