Truth

Add me in

By the end of our pick up game I had a new understanding of Chris; getting information out of him had been easier once I got him to relax, he reminded me of a best friend that I had in middle school his name was also Chris but short for Christan not Christopher. Chris was a joker in every sense of the word but he was also deeply insecure and a little shy.

The more I spoke with Chris as in Brown as in thee Chris Brown; was the more I felt like I could relate. Now I understood why girls would gravitate towards him and also why he despite popular belief got along so well with others. He was a genuine person but a very broken one anyone in his shoes would be if they were bullied how he was.  The life of a public figure could be complicated with people building you uo to basically be their pupett, fans have a tendency to believe that they own you and if you don't take time to focus on what's truly important like your family and friends and take breaks from the ruthless social media it could be soul crushing.

Sudenly, I didn't feel as heroic for lauding my friends who would drag him or harass him in tthe comments. I never thought I'd  actually meet him and be able to put myself in his shoes; now I honestly felt disgusted with myself for the way I behaved online. Celebrities are but human beings after all - he looked over at me after serving a mean crossover and gave me a satisfied smirk.

"Gotta admit Brown you can really play; basketball could have really been a second option for you"

"Sometimes I wish I would've taken that option instead played college ball and become a basketball coach, life would've been a little easier"

  Our friendly game was aprubtly interupted by the loud talking of the rest of the group, a quick check of my phone revealed that they had been all partaking in a voluentery drug counseling session.  Chris was orginally there until they began to taunt him mercilessly especially over one Ms.Fenty, being the bigger person he decided to leave- I could feel an uncomfotable mixture of second hand embarassment and great emphathy risiing up in my throat.

Apparently the ring leader was a white gay guy named Jack he had a bit of a Jesus esthetic going on and low and behold he worked for Fenty beauty before he even got the opportunity he was a Rihanna stan. To be honest with you I was really attracted to her too, part of me knew that traces of colourism and feaurism played into my imense attraction- because I only started dating darker skinned girls as of late. It seemed as if Jack wore his affliation to her as a badge of honour and of course he hated Chris , suddenly I realised with this only being day two of treatment -he had absoulutely no way of distinguing Christopher from the image of Chris. Just as I couldn't until I lowered my own predjudice.

I had to address this in the early to avoid any confusion during this session, I waited until the guys took their seats in the large circle of blue chairs that had been set up. I observed that no one wanted to sit next to Jack and no one wanted to sit next to Chris more than likely to avoid offending either side of the spectrum. I took the seat next to Chris and I couldn't help but sense his tense body relax ,my heart almost broke inside this supposed thug was a lot of vulnerablity and innocence - he just wanted a friend or at the very least an ally.

"Good afternoon fellas I'm Dr. Jameson and today we are going to be getting to know each other , the purposes of this is to eliminate any feelings of in or superiorty and also to foster good vibes and hash out any negatiive energy so that we can all help each other grow. Before I begin I'd like to address thee elephant in the room."

"Jack"

I prayed to the heavens to restrict my eyes from roling as Jack sweared around in a highly dramtic fashion, as luck would have it his seat faced Chris directly and so he had turned his entire body to face the grey wall; it was the defintion of childish but Jack was only 21 and thus I had a extra level of patience for his antics.

"I know what you're going to say Dr. Jameson but it's my moral duty to drag low life women beaters who are simply degenerate, and that's what it is." He guestered in Chris's direction and I watched his body tense up once more a fist was eager to form but he resisted the urge and clenched his teeth, inhaling and exhaling deeply.

I would have asked Chris to speak but I could feel the effort he was making to not become enraged and attack Jack, I was proud of the brother cause I don't know if I could've been as patient.

"Jack , I know that you might believe you are doing a good service but to be honest with you I had the opportunity to interatct one on one with Chris and I must say, he showed up on time was respectful and extremely pleasant. I should also add that he hasn't bothered anyone going as far as to excuse himself from trouble. I know in the media he might be "Chris Brown" but today he's plain old Christopher and if you don't show him the respect that he's shown you, I'm going to have to make you leave.

Needless to say Jack was stunned,  could see Chris opening his mouth to speak and I was tempted to put my hand over his mouth for fear he'd screw up the progress. But no , no he didn't in fact what he did was profound.

"Jack I could understand why you think it's your job to bash me to be honest I used to bash men that hit women too, I know I haven't been a perfect man but none of us would be here if we were. I just want to get better for my daughter bro; I don't live in 2009 anymore but if you want to you can go ahead."

I knew that if I let Jack take my power away I'd always be the angry guy as I thought of Roro and Jai and my momma I knew that I couldn't be "Bhris " anymore. I knew deep down that I wasn't really a thug or a violent guy and I resolved right then and there never to submit to that darkness again.