Wattpad Trolls Unmasked

Homey Don't Play Dat

Ahhh, the infamous read for read strikes again. How many do you receive a day? Me, Personally? Too damn many. After a full on rant, that I place on their personal message page, threatening their lives, livelihood, ball sack or lady parts, I always give in.

Only recently have I become aware of the back alley shenanigans and dealings within the read for read gangs of Wattpad. Not physically violent but mentally manipulative as they peruse the site for the weak and lonely; they lure the unsuspecting into an area free of protection and attack. These predators take on the facade of a friend or someone that a person would look up to as a role model; when in all actuality their only need for you is a vote for each of their snooze-worthy chapters and to leave a slew of emoji comments (I say emoji because I'll be damned if I can find words to express how I feel about the mundane, put my ass to sleep, shit that drips from their fast typing fingertips).

They are the beasts of prey and pedophiles of Wattpad, and they hunt for the young and stupid (Apparently, they always find me. WTF!). To be sure of their sincerity, check their Wattpad homepage, and take a gander at the number of followers and reads they have accumulated in a short amount of time. After witnessing the sheer numbers on their accounts, one must wonder how they do it. I, as your official investigative reporter, have dove in and obtained this information for you. These skank ass, shit bag, mother fucking bitches put out thousands of read for read requests per week, if not per day. Readers beware, they will only read a small amount of your book, leaving emoji comments and clicking that little star, and never again come back to uncover and absorb the wonderland that you have created. The fuckers don't even read it; they always leave comments identical to the statements that some other appreciative reader left. All in the hopes that your dumbass will continue to read, vote and comment on their putrid, crap chapters. Before you know it, you, as the reader, have finished their book without compensation. Welcome to Wattpad.

Now, let's do the math. Think about it, if fifty people read ten chapters, that is 500 reads and possible votes. They send out thousands of requests per week. Wake up. Math is the one thing they seem to excel at because I'll be damned if it is grammar, punctuation or flow.

One of my all time favorite dickwad moves on Wattpad is the notorious avalanche voter. Asking for a read for read, and as soon as you vote and shower them with comments the cunt bags vote for every one of your chapters within five minutes, with the hope that you will do the same thing for them. Listen here, asswipes, ain't gonna happen. They disappear from my reading list faster than the doughnuts at an Overeaters Anonymous meeting. I don't want your votes(I mean they're nice and all, but...). What I want is your feedback. Isn't that what writing is about, people?

So, to all of the assholes, which this chapter pertains to, listen up. You will never be a J.K. Rowling, Nora Roberts or a Stephenie Meyers, and the reason for this is simple. You write on Wattpad, for God's sake!