If he was alive [SPOILERS]

For me?

Two days later Steve and Bucky, with his new arm, had settled in their house and had fallen asleep, exhausted. The next morning, Steve woke up early to make Bucky pancakes. He put in chocolate chips, and set them to cook. When they were all cooked and the table was set Steve went to see if Bucky was awake.

Steve tip-toed into the guest room, which Steve hoped would become Bucky's room, and went to the bed. Bucky was huddled under layers of blanket, so Steve gently rested a hand on the huddled form. Steve almost gasped. Bucky was shaking severely underneath the blankets.

Steve quickly pulled off the blankets and started rubbing Bucky's back. Bucky slowly started to wake up, finally sitting up suddenly. "Steve?"

"Are you alright, Bucky?"

"I...I don't know."

"Tell me, please. I want to help you, Bucky."

"That's... that's the first sleep I've had in a while. I don't like sleeping because when I do I'm vulnerable to both the people around me and to my thoughts. Whenever I sleep, I always have nightmares. I don't remember what it's like to sleep well."

"Bucky, that's awful! How about we change that?"

"How? I didn't know that was possible."

"We'll work on that. But until then, I have chocolate pancakes, the ones that were your favourite that I learnt to bake for you, in the kitchen. And they're getting cold." Steve handed a shocked Bucky an outfit. "Get dressed and meet me in the kitchen. Do you want a smoothie?"

"I... why are you doing this for me? I don't deserve this! Don't you have other things you want to do? And... what's a smoothie?" Steve smiled.

"I'm doing this for you because you deserve it, Bucky. You've gone through hard times, and you deserve to be pampered. And I might be the only one that will pamper you, but even if I'm not, I will anyway. And as long as your tastes haven't changed that much, you'll love the smoothie. Smoothies were your beer back in the forties. Get changed, I'll have the smoothie ready."

"You talk too much," Bucky grumbled, but Steve knew that that was the new Bucky trying to say thank you. Steve smiled and went to make the smoothie, leaving Bucky to get ready.

Steve had just finished serving the smoothie when Bucky came in. He looked around and tensed up. Steve looked over and smiled. "You don't have to give me anything, Bucky. I don't want anything! I'm doing this for you because I want to, and I don't expect anything in return. So please, don't feel like you have to give me anything."

Bucky stayed silent, still stiff. "Bucky, I know that you're struggling to fit in, ok? But please, it's just you and me here. You don't have to worry about fitting in with me. Ok?" Bucky nodded, but he still looked unsure. "I'm with you to the end of the line, Buck. I promise." Steve looked at Bucky and offered him a hug, which Bucky accepted with a smile. Bucky melted into Steve's hug, never wanting to let go. "Buck?" Steve asked. Bucky pulled away, looking slightly worried. "Nothing's wrong, Bucky, just that the food is getting cold." Bucky started to laugh. "What? What's so funny?"

"Sorry, Steve. It's just that you said the exact same thing ten minutes ago, so the food is probably already quite cold, especially with how cool you keep your house. That's not a bad thing, just an observation." Steve started to laugh too, and the two laughed together as Steve warmed up the pancakes.

"There. See if you remember them, and if so, if they're as good as they used to be. Try the smoothie too." Bucky looked at his food for a moment before cutting a piece of the chocolate pancake and putting it in his mouth.

"How the heck did you get pancakes from Break-the-Diet? These pancakes are from there, I know, the best pancake place in the forties. But the chain died!"

Steve smiled. "I got the recipe, remember? We won the recipe because we were common customers, and you couldn't cook so you let me have it. I perfected the recipe for you, and every Friday morning I would make pancakes for us. It was my way of--"

"Giving back to me for saving you from all of the fights you got yourself into." Bucky finished, grinning. "I'd like them to see you now, the ones that picked on you. I doubt that they would pick on you now!" Steve was grinning now, too.

"I'm glad to have you back, Buck. I missed you."

"I missed you too, Steve. What are your plans for today?"

The two spent the rest of the day watching movies and talking, remembering the forties. That night, Bucky stayed at Steve's place again, snuggling into the covers that smelled slightly like Steve.