Supernatural | BTS

Min Yoongi

Every week is the same old thing. We go to church on Sundays from 10am until 1pm. Mom and Dad always stay back to have a little chat with the Father and my brother chats with his friends while I sit in the corner scrolling through pictures on my phone. Pictures of Taehyung. Since he went to his boarding school in elementary, we don't see each other that often anymore, but I always love it when he comes over. I get to see him, actually see him when he comes.  He is so perfect, so majestic, so cute, so handsome, I love it. It's so addicting, just staring at pictures of him and me and drowning in love. My parents think it's bad to be homosexual. The sermon this morning, in fact, was about how homosexuality is bad. I nearly cried halfway through the sermon, but I'm Min Yoongi. I'm good at hiding my emotions. And if I'm good at hiding my emotions, I'm good at hiding the fact that I have a crush on my closest friend.

It's Monday. I just returned from the bathroom just to find a bunch of people gathered around my desk. "Hey," I called, marching over, "what the hell are you—" I gasp when I see my classmates scrolling through my camera roll, looking at all the pictures I have of Taehyung. They turn around and look at me with wide eyes. "Yoongi-ssi," they mutter, "you're gay?!"

I spend the next few weeks being called 'faggot' and other things. They say that I jerk off every time Taehyung comes over to my place, that I have wet dreams about Taehyung. Of course, they never said it straight to my face, but I always knew they were just thinking of it. I would stare at one of them, we would have eye contact for a short second before they look away. But during that short moment of eye contact, I feel like I'm looking straight into their brain. It feels like I dived into their brain and there's a huge screen in front of me showing their current thoughts. I felt as if I was psychic, I could read all my classmate's minds, but they were always so hurtful. After school, I don't go anywhere. I run home, slam the door behind me, hole myself in my room and wipe away the tears on my face. It became a routine. I go to school, they bully me, I get back home and cry, and it goes on loop forever.

One day, my teacher finds a note that was meant to be for me. It is the same stuff that I am 'a gay faggot who likes to jerk off to gay porn and pictures of Taehyung topless'. She tells my parents about it, and when they talk to me about it, I cry. I cry non-stop when they keep telling me that homosexuality is bad. The school does suspend my classmates who are involved, but my parents also take care of me.

First off is the counsellor. Every week I go to this old lady's office and she talks to me about how I can calm down and how I can treat the others better in the future. It's honestly rather alright. She gives me sweets at the end of every session like I'm some kid, but they're really good sweets.

Then there's the one that I hate. Conversion therapy. It's with this guy in his mid-30s at a church all the way across Daegu. I try my best to pretend that it's working, that I'm 'leaving my homosexuality behind'. But every time I get home, I look through the pictures I have of Taehyung again. Why do I keep doing this? These pictures caused me so much trouble, yet I still scroll through them all the time. What the hell is wrong with me.

It isn't until one fateful day when I snap in the middle of Conversion Therapy. I cry about how it's unfair how other people can marry whoever they love, yet I'm bullied for having a crush on someone. Take away the genders and nothing makes sense. I told him how I still look at the pictures of Taehyung when I'm down, how it always cheers me up when I imagine Taehyung next to me wiping my tears and whispering assurances in my ear.

That afternoon, I lock myself in my room and cry. I don't come out for days, weeks even. My parents leave my food outside my door before they and my brother head to work. Then I get all the food in my room while they're out. The only one I let into my room is Holly, because she has no opinions. She isn't mad at me for liking guys, but she also doesn't encourage me to get closer to him. She's also great to cuddle when I'm down. I look at pictures of Taehyung while stroking her fur, the tears that were about to escape slowly being blinked away.