By Any Other Name

C.4

I washed my face clean of makeup and paint, seeing my true face in the mirror. I changed out of my clothes and into some comfy ones to sleep in, locked the door, and crawled in bed after plugging my phone up to charge.

I lied there for a moment before digging my face into my pillow. "Jesus, fuck, Lawliet..." I mumbled, squeezing my eyes shut.

I could completely understand how he wouldn't recognise me, given all he could see were my eyes and the skin around them, but I couldn't help but feel hurt at it. Honestly, how many people do you meet with silver hair and green eyes?

There was a knock on my door and I sat up. "It's Watari, miss." He said and I opened my door quickly so he could step inside, and I closed it again. When I turned to face him, he sighed with a smile.

"Still as beautiful as I remember you." He said and I smiled.

"He doesn't remember me." I huffed, sitting on my bed, and Wammy sat next to me.

"He remembers you, he just doesn't recognise you. I didn't recognise you myself for a minute, to be honest. You've changed so much, Aurora." He sighed and I smiled a little softer.

"Aurora. Haven't heard that in a long time." Aurora was my alias at Wammy's House. All of us orphans had them to protect our identities. Mine was Aurora, Lawliet's was L.

I felt a prod at my arm and Wammy poked my tattoo on my upper right arm. The shadowed roses surrounded by leaves.

"When did you get this?" He asked.

"Shortly after I left the orphanage. I had a little breakdown, did a lot of things I decided in a split second. This was one of them." I said.

"Do you regret it?" He asked.

"Not that one, no." I shook my head with a small smile.

"What did you do?" He asked.

"After I left, years ago... I got a few piercings, got a few tattoos, even shaved half of my hair. Once I came into myself and set my head right, I closed up some of the piercings, got rid of or changed some tattoos, grew my hair back. I kept some the same, like a few in my ears. I kept this rose tattoo." I hummed.

"I see you still kill. So you still get the urges?" Wammy asked and I nodded slowly, looking into my lap.

"Of course you would remember that." I sighed.

"You came to me about these problems you had when you were younger, of course I remember. Have they gotten no better?" He kept his eyes on me.

"Stronger as I age, if anything. I decided to get them out by killing those who have hurt people only." I nodded. "Mainly rapists, child abusers, domestic abusers, animal abusers."

"Not murderers?" He asked.

"Then I'd be a hypocrite." I smiled over at him.

"Seems you and Kira share a little of the same mindset." He said and I chuckled.

"I don't think myself a god, Wammy."

"Did L tell you?" He asked.

"I figured it out myself." I smiled.

We were quiet for a moment before he sighed and stood. "You always were one of our brightest. Get some sleep now, Aurora."

"Yes, sir. Sleep well." I nodded as he left, closing my door behind him. I turned and crawled up my bed to get under my favourite blankets, and lied there, not tired, just on my phone until two am, when I finally passed out.

Dreams and thoughts circled around my head as to when Lawliet would remember me, what would he say when he knows who I am, how will he react? Will he be disgusted? Will he accept me? Will he be as indifferent and neutral as usual?

Will he punish me? Send me to jail?

Would he actually go back on his word?

All these and more scared me, but none as much as the last thought I had.

What if he never remembers me?