By Any Other Name

C.10

After eating my eggs, L closing his eyes and letting me show my face to eat, I covered my face again, told him he could look, and he seemed pleased when he saw the empty plate.

I grabbed a blue lemonade from my room and went with him to the main room and sat beside him, crossing my legs in the wheeled chair, sipping my drink.

"What does that taste like?" L asked, and I saw him eyeing the bottle as I brought it under my scarf to drink.

I took a swig and handed him the bottle after swallowing. "Try it. It's pretty good."

He took the bottle, gave me a look, and took a drink, then hummed. "I guess. Oh, and you just gave me another clue to who you are." He said and I turned to face him with my eyebrow raised.

"Did I?" I asked and he faced me.

"You handed me your bottle with no hesitation, meaning you're comfortable sharing with me. I suspected this earlier when you took my candy without asking, but that assured it. So, we've probably shared food and drink, maybe even kissed..." he hummed, his thumb on his lip, and I couldn't help but laugh and he looked at me in confusion.

"I'm not confirming nor denying anything, L." I said, smirking at my thoughts as I took another drink.

In all honesty, we've swapped a lot more than saliva.

"I can't see you kissing a murderer, Ryuzaki." Light said from his other side.

"Killers aren't made overnight, Light." I rolled my eyes. "As I said days ago, can't exactly blame L for not recognising me. I've changed an awful lot."

"That is true, but not by a margin." Watari came over and gave L a cup of coffee and sugar cubes. I smiled over at him, and he saw it in my eyes.

"He gets it." I nodded to the old man.

"Alright. Well, if he knows you... that means we come from the same place." L looked into his coffee as he dropped cube after cube into it.

"You're so slow sometimes." I hummed in an affectionate voice, and drank more lemonade.

"I don't understand how you can call him stupid when he's the best detective there is, the smartest person here." Light said.

"If he were smarter, he woulda figured out who I am a while ago." I said and looked back at the detective in question. "He would've recognised my ringtone." I suddenly thought.

"It is familiar, I'll admit that. I can't place it, though." He hummed.

"Reminding me... Watari!" I called and he turned to look at me. "Don't tell people where I am, please. I don't need that kinda stress."

"Just informing them you're alive, Rosie." He smiled.

"They don't need to know that." I said and fumbled with the bottle cap. "Not like they'd care anyway." I mumbled.

"Actually, many were overjoyed to hear you were alive and well." Watari came over and said to me.

I chuckled. "I don't know about well..." I trailed off.

"They've even requested you visit when the case is finished." He said and mine and L's heads both snapped up to him.

"They... want me back?" I asked in a shocked whisper. "Are they crazy?" I soon stood up with my lemonade and went back to my room, shutting the door.

I sat on my bed and stared at the wall, remembering the day I told Wammy of my problems.

I was fifteen and went to his office, trying not to cry and make a scene. I knocked on the door before being told to come in.

"Aurora, dear, what's the matter?" He asked, getting up and closing the door, leading me to a seat, and kneeling in front of me.

"I'm conflicted. I know we're supposed to be fighting for justice and all... but..." I couldn't help it, I broke down in tears.

Wammy waited patiently for me, holding my hands in his and running his thumbs along my knuckles comfortingly.

"I just get so angry with some people, and all I- all I want to do is..." I broke down in tears.

"These feelings are normal for you." He said, rubbing my arm.

I looked up at him in shock. "They are?" I sniffed.

"Yes, given all your father has done, it's natural you'd feel this way. Now, tell me, what sort of people do you feel this way towards?" He asked.

"People..." I sniffed again. "People who have hurt others, like my dad did. The rapers, the abusers... that sort." I wiped my cheeks clean.

"Have you told L about these feelings? These urges?" He asked.

"No, I could never. He'd despise me." Tears filled my eyes again, and I squeezed them shut. "I can tell he thinks something's off about me, though."

Wammy put a hand on my shoulder before standing in front of me.

"I think it's best we help you find a way to deal with these feelings in a healthy way, to get them out of your system. Remember, Aurora..." he put his hands on my cheeks and lifted my face so I looked at him.

"Nothing is wrong with you. You're going to be okay." He said with a smile, and I actually believed him.