The New Girl (Gerard Way Fanfic)

Now That You've Gone Away

Gerard's P.O.V

Paisley left the room and I went closer to her mother, who motioned for me to come towards her. I leaned my ear toward her and she said something to me that I would never forget. She said,"I'm not going to survive. I'm getting worse as we speak and I could die any moment. Paisley has no one else. Her family abandoned her and I adopted her when she was very young. I can't take care of her anymore. You are the only person she has. Even though you just met her, I can see that you worry about her and you care about her very much. Please, take care of my daughter. Make sure she survives. She cuts herself, Gerard. She takes pills to ease her pain. I can't be there for her anymore. Please, just make sure she's happy." I didn't know what to say to her. I had mixed feelings and I wasn't even completely sure if I had feelings for Paisley or not. I didn't even know if I could keep this promise that her mother was asking me to make. I didn't know Paisley cut herself or took pills or anything. I felt sad to be finding out that she did these things. I nodded.
"I'll make sure she's happy. I'll keep her alive, no matter how hard it may be." I told her mother. She smiled at me and gave me something.

Paisley's P.O.V

I waited impatiently for Gerard to finish talking to my mother. I walked back and forth outside the door and it opened. Gerard stepped out with tears in his eyes and looked at me, trying to manage a smile.
"She wants to see you." Upon hearing Gerard say these words, I practically ran to my mother.
I grabbed her hand and she spoke to me.
"I love you very much. You have made me happy and I'm glad you are my daughter," She started crying,"Never let them take you alive. You are strong and I know that you will succeed. You might not think so, but I know that you are strong enough to go on without me. I know it sounds like I'm saying goodbye. I don't have much time left. I'm getting worse and I just wanted you to know that I love you more than anything in the world." She kissed my forehead lightly and brushed a strand of hair out of my face. I felt tears welling up in my eyes again.
"Shhh." She said. She started to sing to me. She sang the song we always use to sing together.

'I swear, by the moon and the stars in the sky. I swear by the shadow that's by your side.

I see the questions in your eyes. I know what's weighing on your mind.'

Tears fell on my shirt as we continued singing together.
"I love you mom. I love you so much." I broke out crying as her heart monitor slowed down. She smiled at me and shed a tear.
"I love you too." She said.
Her heart monitor stopped and she was gone. I had a break down. My head was lying on her chest and I was crying. I let everything out and the tears kept coming. Doctors swarmed into the room and started doing things to her, but she wasn't coming back. Gerard came in and pulled me out of the room. I cried into his chest as he hugged me. I cried and cried until I couldn't cry anymore.

Gerard's P.O.V

I was worried about Paisley. We went to my house and I talked to my mom about everything that happened. She said that it was okay if Paisley lived with us. We went to her house and packed up her stuff after we picked the lock to her house. All of her mom's stuff and the furniture from the rest if the house, we put in a storage facility for when she grows up and gets her own house. Besides, I didn't think she wanted to keep her mother's stuff. While she was unpacking in the guest room, which was going to be her permanent room, I saw she had a couple guitars. She had an acoustic and an electric with an amp. The electric guitar was black with red designs and the acoustic guitar was just plain black.
I looked at her in awe. Was there anything this girl didn't do? I decided to leave her alone for a while.

A couple days later, there was a funeral. Since Paisley and me were the only ones who either knew or met her mom, me, the guys and my mom and grandma went to the funeral. Paisley cried most of the time and I did my best to ease her pain, but there wasn't much that I could do. I felt bad for her and I wanted to make all of her pain go away. I looked at her. She smiled at me. She was so strong and I envied that about her. Even though she's been through so much, she still managed to put a smile on her face. I rubbed her back as she cried on my shoulder.
"Shhh. It's okay. Everything will be alright." I whispered into her ear to reassure her that things were going to get better. We've grown closer over the last couple days and I hadn't let her out of my sight. I still didn't know what to do about her cutting and taking pills. I was almost positive that she still did, but I didn't know what to tell her or how to make everything better.

Paisley's P.O.V

Gerard made me feel somewhat better as I sat on the church pew in a black suit, gazing at my mothers coffin. I was too afraid to go look at her. I was afraid of what I would see. I was scared that I wouldn't see my mother, the woman that took care of me, the woman who listened to me and loved me and did everything in her power to make sure my needs were met. I was scared that it wouldn't be her in that black box, but a complete stranger. Gerard rubbed my back. I cried into his shoulder. Mikey, Frank, Ray, Bob, Gerard's grandmother, Helena, and his mother, Donna, were all there to support me. I was glad to have at least a couple people to turn to. However, I felt distant. I became depressed and I couldn't bear the thought of my mother going six feet under the ground. I had written a song for my mother. I wanted to sing it in the church. I grabbed my black acoustic guitar and started playing.

-You made me laugh
When I cried
You made me see
That I never had to hide
You gave me a reason
You gave me a way
But it's disappeared
Since you've gone away
No amount of sorrows
Will ease my pain
Because of you
I can face the rain
I feel as if things will never be the same
Things will never be okay
Now that you've gone away
From this place
I watch you soar
I see you
And I miss you even more
You gave me
Everything that I would ever need
You helped me
Be who I wanted to be
I can't picture life without you today
Now that you've gone away
When I really wish you could have stayed
But it's too late
You've gone away
You've gone away

The church went silent. While I was singing I felt as if I was the only one there. It was just my mom and me. I didn't need anything else. That moment, I could do anything. That moment, it was like she never left and I could hear her laughter echoing through the church, I could see her sitting on the pew that I was sitting not too long ago, smiling up at me, I could smell the perfume she always wore and I could feel her playing with my hair like she always did when I was younger. A tear slid down my face as I sang my heart out to the woman who was always there for me. I finished the last line of the song.
When I was finished, Gerard came to me and walked me out. Not once did I look into the coffin. I didn't want to remember my mom as dead and lifeless, lying in a box that would soon be in the ground. I didn't want to remember her lying in the hospital bed, fighting for her life. I wanted to remember her before all of that. I wanted to remember her smiling face and the sound of her beautiful laugh, her amazing voice when she sang me to sleep. I loved her so much. I love her so much.
Goodbye, mom. I'll miss you...