You're Not Even Mine to Miss [Fall Out Boy - Wattys 2014]

➽ Track One (Pete's POV).

Track One (Pete’s POV): The best part of “believe” is the “lie”.

(April 15th, 2008)

It had already been exactly two weeks since Donnie and I broke up.

To be honest, breaking up with her wasn’t actually in my plan. I loved Donnie. I really did. But after knowing that the band would be even busier than ever in the next few months, with Donnie wanting to stay in the state for her work and her family, and with Alexis being around, I couldn’t focus anymore.

Alexis Rivers was one of the many fans who went to our concerts. She was in the meet-and-greet during this one concert of ours, and then I had seen her again during another concert. The first time I met her, I already noticed her pretty face. I knew that I would never forget that face.

I never told Donnie that Alexis and I had met again in the grocery store by chance when I went to buy some food for my fridge in the apartment. We had a little chat over coffee and pastries afterwards, and one thing led to another, we were kissing at the sidewalk before she bid me goodbye.

And just a week after Donnie and I broke up, Alexis had showed up again in my life, and in a rather desperate attempt to forget about Donnie, I started going out with her. I mean, I had wanted to do that even when my ex-girlfriend and I were still dating (Alexis was really hot. Like, Victoria’s Secret model kind of hot) but cheating on her had always made me feel bad (even our little make-out session with Alexis made me feel sick since I had a girlfriend at that time).

But I was free already. I could do whatever I wanted.

As I stared at the sleeping Alexis beside me, with her chocolate brown hair covering her neck and shoulders and a small part of her face, I wondered what it would have been if I hadn’t broken things up with Donnie. I still loved her. I still did.

Tucking some of Alexis’ hair behind her ear gently, I inched closer to her to put my arm around her and kiss her forehead. She smiled in her sleep and inched even closer to me, pulling me closer to her. I brushed my thumb on her naked shoulders, and as I looked at the moon outside my window, I replayed what had happened in Patrick’s house two weeks ago in my head.

*~*

(April 2nd, 2008)

I had a hunch that Patrick – being Donnie’s best friend since high school – knew something. I guessed that she had called him up, most likely a few hours after the breakup, to let him know what happened. And if Patrick was mad at me for being the asshole I was, then let it be. I just had to explain it to him. Being a guy, he probably knew what I was going through.

With a deep breath, I knocked on Patrick’s door. I heard light footsteps approaching, and thinking that it was Patrick, I placed a small smile on my face. The door then swung open, revealing someone whom I had never expected to be there. Donnie.

I immediately noticed that she was wearing Patrick’s shirt (I mean, I gave him that t-shirt for his birthday the previous year, and he had been wearing it ever since. He told me that it was comfortable wearing it, and he really liked it). In addition, Donnie’s hair was also kind of messy, and it seemed that she had just woken up. And she didn’t seem to be wearing anything else underneath that oversized t-shirt of Patrick.

Patrick was sitting on the couch, staring at me with wide eyes. He was in his boxers and a very crumpled t-shirt, his bed sheets were kicked aside and I had noticed that his pants were lying on the floor. My blood was boiling, my eyes had turned into slits. Did they just—?

I was so mad.

I turned to Donnie who was still standing in front of me and glared at her. “You filthy slut,” I hissed at her. She gasped in surprise, and I saw the glint of hurt in her eyes. Good.