You're Not Even Mine to Miss [Fall Out Boy - Wattys 2014]

➽ Track Seven (London's POV).

Track Seven (London’s POV): Nobody gets me like you do.

(April 18th, 2008)

Life without Patrick Stump was certainly going to be sad.

Nah, I’m just kidding. No, really, just spending a few hours without talking to that guy really made me feel lonely and alone. Well, I talked with my parents regarding our trip to England for like an hour or so, but those hours felt longer than the hours I usually spent with Patrick. Whenever I was with him, time would fly really fast. Hours felt like seconds, if that were possible.

My shift in the coffee shop that I was working in was from two in the afternoon until ten in the evening, from Tuesday until Saturday every week. Patrick knew about my schedule – he always did without even me telling him anything. There were times that he’d come by to the coffee shop to buy coffee but would leave right away for a band meeting or rehearsal and sound check. There were also times when he would actually stay in the coffee shop just to talk with me for hours and would wait for me while we close the store up before taking me home. That happened even when I was with Pete, since Pete was always busy in managing his own clothing line, record label and in writing songs.

I didn’t complain to Pete since I knew that it was his passion, but only after our breakup did I realize how difficult my life was when I was his girlfriend. He was the upper hand of that relationship. Thank God that it finally ended before putting me into so much more misery.

Wait… was I really thankful for its end?

Of course I was. I had to stop being so blind with my love for him. I had to see things differently. I had to move on because he clearly did already. I would get over him, and it would definitely make me happy.

Yeah, keep thinking that. You’re just lying to yourself and you know it.

I couldn’t argue with myself since my conscience was telling me the truth. I was still madly in love with a guy who didn’t want me anymore and had a new girlfriend to replace me. I was still in love with someone who had clearly moved on. And I hadn’t even managed to pick myself up yet since I was too busy thinking about a guy who wasn’t thinking about me anymore.

I needed to speak to Patrick. He was the only one who’d understand.

Patrick texted me at around three in the afternoon and said that he’d be coming over to the coffee shop. I quickly replied an “okay” to him, excited to see him again. For sure, he would talk all about the band meeting and how giddy he was about their next album. Every time we’d meet up, that was what he would tell me, so I knew the gist of what was in store for me that afternoon.

The ringing of the small bell hung on the entrance door made me turn to the general direction of it, and smiled immediately after recognizing my best friend step inside the coffee shop. Patrick smiled back at me and made his way towards the counter.

“Hey there,” I greeted him as soon as he had reached the counter. “Can I get you anything?”

“I’ll have your limited edition London Cassidy McKenzie, please,” Patrick joked with a chuckle, and I rolled my eyes playfully. “Just kidding, Donnie! I’ll have my usual cup of cappuccino.”

I shook my head slightly, smiling at him before turning my heel to get his order. While I was preparing his drink, I asked him, “So, how was your meeting today with the band? Any news?”

“Well, we chose songs for the new album earlier. As of the moment, we’ve got fourteen songs lined up to be recorded,” Patrick answered, clearing his throat. “And as always, I was assigned to compose the melody of Pete’s lyrics with his help. Andy and Joe are willing to help as well, especially because Pete was acting differently these days. We all noticed that.”