You're Not Even Mine to Miss [Fall Out Boy - Wattys 2014]

➽ Track Seventeen (Patrick's POV).

Track Seventeen (Patrick’s POV): In your world, we were the same. In mine now, you’re the one to blame.

(May 14th, 2008)

I never imagined that London McKenzie could be that thick.

I had just literally described her (not physically though, more on her attitude and personality, but I’m pretty sure that she knew that she was the only person that I had memorized like the back of my hand), and still, she didn’t get that I was referring to her? Fucking bullshit.

It was scary since I was starting to get mad and frustrated at her – something that had never happened before.

“I’m not talking about RJ, alright?” I slowly told her, losing my patience bit by bit.

“Not Rachelle?” Donnie was humming, averting her gaze from me as she scratched her chin, pondering about the mystery girl that I was talking about. Not too long later, she sighed dejectedly, holding up both of her hands in the air in defeat. “Fine. I give up. But I just want you to know that, whoever that lucky girl is, you should confess to her. Like, right now, maybe.”

I think I just did, I wanted to tell her but I didn’t.

Donnie kept on talking. “You should… I don’t know. E-mail her, text her, call her. Perhaps it’s better if you call her, or maybe talk to her in person. Ask her out on a date. Get to know her more. But wait, you said that you know her like the back of your hand already, right? Never mind, then. But maybe you don’t know some little, insignificant details about her? You should know.”

She was just so… talkative. It wasn’t very rare of her to be that loquacious, but it was starting to exasperate me. All I wanted to do is just lean towards her and grab her shoulders and pin her on the wall in that alleyway and kiss her on her luscious lips just to shut her up—wait, what?

I wanted to pull every strand of my hair after I had thought of that. I wanted the ground to just swallow me up whole. I was becoming a pervert to my best friend—a crazy, narcissistic pervert.

Hold back for now, Patrick Stump.

My best friend placed her hand on my shoulder, breathing out loudly. “This girl… whoever she is, I’m sure that she’ll be the luckiest person on Earth to have you as someone more than just a friend,” she smiled at me, quickly patting my shoulder twice before removing her hand from me. “You must promise me that you’ll introduce her to me some time, okay? I can’t wait to meet her.”

You don’t know what you’re saying, Donnie…

She checked her wrist watch and cursed after seeing the time. “Gosh, I really have to go now,” London told me with her eyebrows knitted together. She then looked up at me, her eyes staring up at me with a mixture of embarrassment and worry. “P, I’m sorry, but I have to go now. I didn’t ask permission from my parents to come here to watch your gig, and it’s getting pretty late so… See you around, maybe?”

I nodded, smiling awkwardly at her. “No problem, Donnie. I understand,” I guaranteed her.

With a nod of her own, she turned her heel to leave, but she turned to me once again and gripped my wrist. She fixated her eyes on my own. “P, just a word of advice: call that girl you like right now. Tell her exactly how you feel about her. Show her how much you really care for her,” Donnie instructed me. I nodded, making her smile before leaving me in the alleyway with one last glance and a ghost of her small smile.

Before she could even round the corner, however, I had fished for my phone and dialled her number. She was already walking a couple of meters away from me as she took her phone from her pocket. I watched her stop and stare at the screen of her phone for a while, probably re-reading the words ‘Patrick Stump calling’ over and over again with one eyebrow raised, before she lifted her head up at me as she simultaneously answered the phone call.