You're Not Even Mine to Miss [Fall Out Boy - Wattys 2014]

➽ Track Thirty-one (London's POV).

Track Thirty-one (London’s POV): Every time you look at me, I could go crazy, but I don’t say it because I’d rather be alone than lose you.

(June 29th, 2008)

Pete had stopped talking to me for nearly three days already.

It wasn’t very unusual (because I kinda got used to the fact that Pete wouldn’t talk to me for quite some time whenever he was upset or busy or whatever), but what bothered me so much was that I had no idea why the hell was he doing it. There seemed no valid explanation for him to do such thing because a.) we hadn’t talked for the past few days and b.) it had been days already. Pete had never not talked to me for that long.

I remembered that on the morning of the 27th, when I had woken up, he wasn’t sleeping beside me. That was an odd thing, because, most of the time, Pete would still be lying beside me on the bed even though he was already wide awake (he would be staring at me face the whole time if he would wake up first), but he wasn’t there with me at all. The left side of the bed was completely empty. I allowed my hand to pat the space beside me and found it cold. I guessed that he might’ve gotten up early to get some breakfast or maybe take a quick shower, so I decided not to get up from the bed just yet to wait for his return.

But when an hour had already passed and my raven-haired boyfriend didn’t come back to his bunk bed yet, I huffed as I sat up from the bed and looked around the tour bus. From Pete’s bed, I could see that Andy was still lying down on his bunk, unmoving—which I guessed was that he was still asleep that time. Slightly frowning to myself, I slid my feet into the slippers that Pete had lent me the night before (they were too big for my feet, but at least they were comfy) and got up from his bunk, tying my hair into a loose bun as I started walking around the bus.

Joe was facing his computer, and I wondered for a moment why he was talking to the computer screen about something that I didn’t quite catch (it was as if he was whispering to it), but then I realized that his webcam was turned on and that he was talking to his girlfriend, Marie Wortman Goble, via web chat. For a moment, I remembered when I had done the same thing with Pete, and from what I had seen from the guitarist’s face – the longing and sadness were clearly etched underneath his smile – I was pretty sure that my face must’ve been like that, too.

When Joe had finally realized that I was standing not too far from his bed, he had lifted his head up towards my direction, and when he had recognized me, he smiled. I was about to signal him to continue his conversation with his girlfriend instead of acknowledging my presence, but he had already waved at me before I could do anything about it. “Good morning, Donnie,” Joe greeted me.

“Good morning too, Joe,” I politely greeted him back, smiling. I walked over to his bunk so that I could be seen on the webcam. It had been a while since Marie and I had last talked. “Hello, Marie. How’re you?” I asked the virtual moving image of Joe’s girlfriend on the computer screen. “Long time no see, huh?”

“Long time no see, indeed,” Marie agreed, nodding her head. “I heard that you’re in England as well. When will you be coming back here in Chicago? We really have to see each other again some time.”

“I haven’t thought about it yet, but I’ll try to be back as soon as possible.”

“Great. Oh, and another thing, please take care of Joe for me while he’s there, okay?”

Chuckling, Joe shook his head in amusement as he listened to our conversation. A laugh also escaped from my lips, and I gave the Jew a pat on his shoulder. Still looking at the webcam, I assured Marie, “Don’t worry. Your boyfriend is in good hands.” Joe then turned his head towards me with a grin. I then laughed again before I told both of them, “I’ll leave you two to talk in private. And, Marie, let’s promise to each other that we’ll meet up very soon, okay?”