You're Not Even Mine to Miss [Fall Out Boy - Wattys 2014]

➽ Track Two (Patrick's POV).

Track Two (Patrick’s POV): I used to obsess over living, now I only obsess over you.

(April 16th, 2008)

The slightly broken pieces of my friendship with Pete had started becoming glued back together. It was almost like a brand new start for both of us, since we knew that we both messed up things between us a little bit after that spat we had with Donnie.

It was shocking at first when she had told me that she agreed to go with her family to England in about a month or two and when she had explained to me that she had to keep a “low-profile” from the media for a while. I understood her need and want for privacy – since when the band had started getting attention from the public, we never had any privacy for ourselves anymore – especially after the terrible news about her breakup with Pete had been discovered by the many ears and eyes of showbiz.

Tabloids, magazines and showbiz reports on TV and on the internet presented videos, pictures and articles about what had happened the unfortunate night. Some pictures and videos were taken by the paparazzi and those people who had recognized them on Bella Italia. I remembered that one night when Donnie had called me up, crying as she told me that she had seen news on the television where they had blamed her for their breakup.

She had enough of all those rumours and misleading news. The people who knew Donnie personally knew the real story about their breakup, but the problem was just that most of the people around the world didn’t. They blamed her for what happened, and I knew that she was deeply hurt.

There was a knock on the front door. I stood up from the couch to answer it, and it wasn’t that surprising when I found that it was Donnie. She always came to my apartment when she need some cheering up, and she admitted that she would never find anyone else to cheer her up other than me. It inflated my ego a bit.

“Am I bothering you?” she asked, her eyebrows crinkled in worry. “I’m sorry if I didn’t call you up to notify you. I was just driving around…” Donnie sighed sadly. “…and I couldn’t find anywhere to make me feel happy, so I decided to come here.”

“Donnie, you don’t always have to explain,” I assured her as she stepped in my apartment. “I already told you, I’m perfectly happy that you’re here. It’s better to have company than being alone.”

She plopped unto the couch and let out another sigh. I went to sit next to her as she reached for the remote control. “You know, we should go out for a while,” she told me.

My eyes widened in shock, but I attempted to hide it. Was she asking me out?! “But I thought you chose not to date anymore?” I asked her in an incredulous voice, clearing my throat.

Laughing, she slapped me playfully on the arm. “That’s not what I meant, P!” she giggled, and it made me even more confused. “What I meant was that we should go out and, you know, watch a movie, ride rollercoasters, go skating or dancing. Something fun that we haven’t done yet, that kind of stuff.”

“Oh.” And there I wished that the couch would just eat me up so that I wouldn’t get laughed at again.

Grinning, she turned to the TV and pressed the “on” button of the remote control. I watched the TV as she switched channels when both of us noticed a picture of Pete Wentz on one of the showbiz channels. Donnie stopped on that channel, and I tried to grab hold of the remote control to change it so that whatever was in there wouldn’t hurt her, but she was too quick for my reflexes.

To be honest, she was being such a hypocrite.

“Fall Out Boy’s bassist and songwriter Pete Wentz is caught up in many rumours this month,” the blonde twenty-something year-old Hollywood TV reporter said. There were pictures of Pete presented in a slideshow as the reporter carried on talking. “Wentz was involved with the surprising breakup between him and his long-time girlfriend – but now ex-girlfriend – London McKenzie.” A picture of Donnie and Pete flashed on the TV screen. And then, an amateur video of them outside Bella Italia was shown, and it seemed to be a video from someone’s cell phone. The blonde went on talking, “It was said that the two were seen shouting at each other just outside an Italian restaurant where they had dinner last April 1st, the date of their second anniversary. McKenzie was previously believed to be the reason of their breakup, but according to Pete Wentz himself on a very short interview, it was him who decided to end things.”