You're Not Even Mine to Miss [Fall Out Boy - Wattys 2014]

➽ Track Five (Patrick's POV).

Track Five (Patrick’s POV): I am such a sucker and I’m always the last to know.

(April 18th, 2008)

Donnie calling me at five in the morning only meant two things:

a.) She needed to tell me something really important such as falling from her bed and landing on the floor and she couldn’t get up which only ended up me telling her what to do before laughing until my stomach ached (that happened before, so there was a huge possibility that it might happen again); or

b.) She couldn’t sleep, so she decided to disturb me so I could join her misery – something that she had always enjoyed doing since I hated it (and misery loves company, so she kept doing it because she was sure that I couldn’t get too mad at her and she just enjoyed watching and listening to me suffer).

I was definitely not a morning type of person since I wasn’t used to waking up really early except for special instances such as meetings, rehearsal and interviews. I usually woke up around noon – which kind of explained why I wasn’t a morning person. Obviously.

But after hearing that she wanted to tell me something – my drowsiness had disappeared. I wanted to listen to her, I wanted to know what she wanted to talk about. I was kind of hoping that it would be about something that I was interested in, not fashion magazines and beauty products. I remembered when Donnie had called me at the middle of the night just to pester me about the memes of Fall Out Boy that she had seen on the internet.

That memory made me feel very uncomfortable… since it involved of things that weren’t really happening but people who wrote stories (which were called ‘fan-fictions’; I learned that from Joe) thought that we were doing. And Donnie telling me all about it made it more embarrassing than ever.

Anyway, so much for that. The thing was that Donnie was about to tell me something about Pete and Alexis – not really a great topic to discuss at five in the morning, but all right – and I had to be the great best friend that I was (and I was doing it kind of half-heartedly, since I was so tired and I wanted to sleep but I didn’t want her to be sad at the same time). It was difficult. It was a struggle.

I pushed my sheets away from my feet and sat up as I flicked the lampshade on. “Okay, Donnie. I’m listening,” I told her, rubbing my eyes with my free hand.

“Why does she have to be a total bitch at the restaurant yesterday?” she asked me, perhaps rhetorically, since she didn’t wait for me to respond and quickly added, “Like, oh my God, didn’t you notice how condescending she was?” I heard her groan in frustration.

My eyebrows were knitted together in confusion. “Well, honestly, I did notice that she was acting quite mean to you—”

“Excuse me? ‘Quite mean’ to me?” she echoed, her tone incredulous. “She was definitely not acting ‘quite mean’ to me! She was so mean to me! She was acting like a trying hard sassy bitch – and dammit, she was not looking feisty at all. More like egotistical and self-centred.”

I clicked my tongue. I didn’t like her talking about bad things to other people behind their backs, and she knew that all too well. I reminded Donnie about that every time she would start stabbing people at their backs. “Come on, Donnie,” I sighed, massaging my temple. “Please don’t start this—”

“Don’t you remember what she had bragged about to everybody in our table?” she retorted angrily. “P, I know that you’re trying to act neutral here – because as always, you feel guilty whenever you choose sides – but believe me, defending her is just a waste of time—”