Insomniac

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(Jonathan POV)

I cross my arms and lean against the door frame watching Ashley feed Isla and Natia.

I go over and help him put them back into their shared crib. I lay Isla down next to her sister and watch them wiggle around for a bit before closing their little eyes and going back to sleep. I back away from their crib and walk out the door with Ashley behind me.

He gently closes the door and looks at me.

"How's your head?"

I ask and he suddenly leans forward and grabs me. Hugging me and holding me close, which was highly unusual considering he hates physical contact with a passion.

I must be dying or something,

I think to myself as I wrap my arms around his neck and lay my head against his shoulder.

"You're absolutely exhausted Johnny. I need you to lean on me, okay? Trust me, I've got you."

He says and I feel the tears again as I think of her.


Right.


Today I put my wife in the ground right next to our firstborn son.


The state of disbelief releases its grip on me and the wave of grief sweeps over me.


"Ash...it hurts...so much."


I choke out and grip his shoulders as he holds me tighter.


"I know Johnny...I know."


He croaks and I realize he was crying too.





After crying for a few minutes in silence. I pull away from him and wipe the leftover tears from my eyes.

He grabs my arm and pulls me to my bedroom.

"You know I probably won't get any sleep anyway." I yawn as I lay in bed wide awake.

He lays down next to me and gets under the comforter.

"I know, that's why I'm sleeping with you." He says and shifts himself to the complete opposite edge of the bed.


"That sounds so perverted."


I laugh but the loneliness fades and exhaustion takes its place.

"It's only perverted if you make it perverted, dumbass. Go to sleep."

He says and slams my head down with a pillow.

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