Nikes - A Blake Richardson (New Hope Club) FanFiction

Alone at the beach

Being alone outside in Great Britain had been quite common for me. I had felt save and kinda like a normal girl. It had been astounding that I had been relaxed being on my own on the streets.

Now as I was back in Australia it didn't feel common anymore. But first I hadn't even thought that I was on my own. But as a consequence of having nobody around me who talked with me and kept me from thinking too much, the anxiety slowly came back.

I hadn't even arrived at the beach when I suddenly stopped walking and realized that I was actually alone, outside from the save house. If someone had walked behind me, they probably would have run into me because I stopped so abruptly.

I'm alone.

I know, for normal people it might have seemed like a crazy, not comprehensible thought. But for me it meant that one year escape to a different country, even a different continent, hadn't helped. Well, I actually had realized that before but that was another proof.

So I stood there, torn between giving up and going home or going on to the beach. Seriously, I couldn't decide for several seconds and probably looked like a statue since I literally didn't move.

Then I somehow managed to keep my instinctive fears a little bit away to be able to catch a modestly thought. No, it has to stop. You can't always let your fears win. It's only a trip to the beach.

After a couple further seconds I finally began to walk again. To be honest I had to command my feet to move, otherwise they wouldn't have moved like usually. They would have turned around to walk back to the house.

But I went in the opposite direction. Step after step I increasingly got a normal speed and hopefully didn't look awkward anymore. I hoped that nobody had watched me. I really did.

I guess it was a good sign that I was concerned about my looking and not about potential murderers around me now. Nevertheless I kept on being stressed.

When I arrived at the beach I let some air out of my lungs from which I hadn't known that I had held. Instead of relaxing now I continued being stressed and breathing shortly. Just because I arrived at the beach didn't mean that I was save now. But I tried to pretend that I felt comfortable. I wanted to proof something for myself.

I can do it. I am doing it.

Thoughts like that motivated me to not give up. Now it was too late anyway and the others would only wonder and look stupid at me.

I unpacked my rucksack, always having a brief gaze at the entrance of this small part of the beach. My attentive gazes reminded me a bit of a mystery story. It was very strange... If I hadn't been so anxious, I would have laughed about that though. Whatever.

Blake's not coming with me had been the reason why I had wanted to change my clothes at the beach, how I had used to do. But now I didn't consider that as a good idea anymore. I knew that usually nobody was here because this is a lonely beach and only a few other houses were next to our house, not far away from here, and those who lived there were only old people who never visited the beach.

The thing was that I wasn't anxious about normal pedestrians. But I was anxious about ... certain persons who had destroyed my life. And they may or may not know where I lived now and maybe even where I was right now. That was the point. I could never be sure about my enemies, not even if they were still alive.

I tried to put these thoughts away and focused my attention to my surfer clothes. I felt very uncomfortable being almost naked at the beach, not because of being naked outside but because of the feeling of anaphylaxis without my clothes.

When I finally had changed I watched the waves and considered how the waves were today. The fact that I was in Australia convinced me once again that this was the best place to surf. I went to the water and did a few strokes so that my muscles would wake up. While doing this I always had an unconscious look at the entrance. Of course nobody came in.

I was glad that the small entrance was the only opportunity to come in here. Otherwise I would have had to look around the whole beach even though it was a really small one.

When I was done I went back to my rucksack and took the surfboard with me. The waves were perfect like almost always at this beach. That's why I loved it so much.

While I was trying to get into it I still had to look at the entrance and this small group of small trees next to it where I couldn't help but expect some ... guys. Of course there weren't. And I knew that. It was just a habit and instinct of mine.

A wave came behind me. I slowly paddled with it. As it was big enough I quickly stood up like I had done for thousand times before. It was one single move and then I stood on my surfboard. My gaze was straight at the end of the board, then at the wave in front of me and back to the entrance. Did someone come?, was what I thought every time when I looked at the entrance.

It was only a brief look but nevertheless it distracted me from my wave. The very short lack of my attention resulted in me losing the balance. I fell off the board to the right hand side into the water.

"Shit!" I yelled and beat the water. It's been years since I had fallen from the surfboard the last time. Usually I was a very save surfer.

I tried it once again, this time I forbid myself to look at the beach but only at the waves. It didn't work. I got distracted by my own habits over and over again. It was really annoying!

After the third or fourth attempt -where I had failed as well - I gave it up plus wasn't in the mood anymore.

Does that mean that I was only able to surf because of Blake's presence, two days ago?

I guess it did....

I walked back to my rucksack with the board under my arm and sat down next to it, onto my board. I bend my knees and buried my face into my knees. My arms were around my head.

I still felt very uncomfortable being alone there. There was always a small feeling of anxiety but during my surf attempts in the sea it had gotten better. I felt saver at the beach than on the streets.

I rested in that position for a couple minutes, enjoying the sound of the sea. And eavesdropping to some noises which could reveal potential attackers.

Suddenly somebody I honestly hadn't already heard or noticed arriving stopped directly next to me. I only heard their last step only a meter away from me. At the first moment, for only a fraction of a second, I couldn't see who it was because my eyes were still at my knees with my arms around them. Stupid Selena! This a very disadvantageous position!

My heart had double speed from one second to the other. I was so shocked and alarmed that I quickly moved into a position of defence to keep an attacker away. Only then I saw who had arrived.