My Secret Valentine

Chapter 6

I was facing a major dillema because everything that Mr Heart was saying in English class was coming through one ear and going out the other, I seriously couldn't follow. 

Who could have written that letter to me? And why was I so afraid to open it? I wasn't use to these kind of things at all and believe me when I say I am beyond inexperienced in the boys department. It's not like guys never hit on me but more that I never had boys throwing themselves at me.

I never really settled in one place long enough to have  a guy become attached to me or so invested in me that he wanted to put a label on what we had. There was this one guy though, back when I use to live up in the country. I was sixteen at the time and he was eighteen; we would meet up in the barn near my house and we would just talk all night. I would always sneak out to meet him and he would always be willing to listen to my every worry. We weren't a couple but we weren't exactly just friends either, his name was Ashton and he may have been the best person I had ever met. He was my first kiss and my first crush, I know it sounds weird that I only felt somethig for a guy at the age of sixteen but like I said I was inexperienced. 

The moment I started to feel strongly towards Ashton it was time to move and I never really got to say goodbye. I soon found out that Ashton was really 26 and he was married and had a baby daughter. I realized that my first crush was a married man with children, my crush and my love interest was a lie. He pretended to have feelings for me just so that he could get something out of me. We made love once when he took me to a motel just out of town and at the time I felt like it had brought us closer. Now I just feel dirty, used and wasted. I realize now that the boy I though I loved wasn't really a boy, but a man. A pedophile, I stopped trusting the male race since then, and only keeping boys as friends so that I wouldn't make that mistake again.

So right now thinking that someone may have a love interest in me was occupying my thoughts more than it should have been. I wondered what would be written in the note that layed inside the white envelope. 

I couldn't wait any further so I asked to be excused from class to go to the bathroom but I headed straight for my locker instead. 

I opened my locker and I began to tear open the envelope. 

I was sitting at my desk for about an hour trying to find the perfect words to say to you, but I just couldn't come up with anything that would be worthy enough to describe just how beautiful you are. It's not just the colour of your eyes that illuminate and blind me, but it's the curves of your face and the structure of your smile. When I see you I get nervous and I can not find the words to speak. I wonder it you wake up every morning and see what I see. I wonder if you are aware of the girl that I see standing infront of me everyday at school. I love the way you smile and I love the sounds of your laugh, and I guess this letter isn't meant to just tell you that you are remarkable but to also remind you incase you ever forget. 

Until next time my love. 

- Your secret valentine.

This guy may or may not have dimentia because it was not valentines day yet. But the gesture was sweet and I wondered again who it could be from? 

"What's that you're holding?" 

I turned around to find Noah leaning against the locker next to mine.

"Honestly do you not understand what it means to stay away from somebody? You are honestly a psycho, you're rude, over bearing and out right mean. I don't want to talk to you so find somebody else to annoy every minute of the bloody day." I know it was harsh but I have had an overdose of him for one week.

"I just asked a question no need to get snappy." He smirked.

"Can you just leave me be? Honestly at times I feel like you stalk me. Why do you happen to be every where I go?"