If Only She Knew

Chapter 78: travel down memory lane

Mia's Point Of View

I was snuggled up in my bed with my glasses on and a new book in my hands, I shouldn't be reading at this hour but I couldn't sleep, after what happened between Justin and i, i took a shower to try to forget about it but it didn't work... I wanted to go and cuddle with him, or just be with him but I didn't think it was a good idea.

My phone vibrated next to my leg and I looked at the unknown number and sighed picking it up. It's 2 am who would call at this hour? I didn't know who it is so I thought i shouldn't answer it in case it was a creeper but then my house telephone rang on the nightstand. I picked it up and pressed on the green button.

"Hello?" I said

"Mia?" The person on the other line wondered

"Who's this?" I asked

"It's me, Mal" I heard him say

Mal? As in Jamal? Ethan's best friend? I thought

"Yeah it's me" he said

I bit my lip "did i say that out loud?"

He chuckled "yeah you did. Don't you always?"

I smiled "hey Mal, is everything okay? Are you okay?" I asked

He cleared his throat "um yeah everything's cool... kinda— how you been?"

"I've been good Mal... but tell me something... how'd you get my new number?" I asked

He didn't say anything

"Did Ethan put you up to this?" I asked

He sighed "kinda... listen he's really sorry Mia, I'm not just saying this you can ask Chris or Jaden they'll tell you the same thing! Heck ask V she'll tell you how he been! You don't have to take him back just hear a n**** out for one time! He just wanna let you know how sorry he is"

"He already apologized Mal. I don't forgive him. End of story- just let me move on and be happy again" I said closing the book and placing it next to me on the pillow before taking my glasses off and let them top the book.

"We all make mistakes Mia! It's been months why can't you just forgive him and make up? We miss you two together"

"Yeah well I'm not the one who fucked up J. It was him who let a three years relationship gets ruined just let that sink in" I mumbled pressing my fingers against my now closed eyes as I felt tears building up. "Please don't do this to me. I don't wanna talk to him anymore heck I don't even wanna talk about him, I don't wanna see him Mal! It hurts! He brings so many memories I don't wanna remember and I can't take this pain anymore! I just recently started sleeping Mal! I barely ate during these months I'd have nightmares every single night and i just can't go back at it again I wanna move on. I spent each day saying I wasn't good enough for him that's why he cheated on me! That something was missing! Like I wasn't giving him everything he needs" i let a shaky breath out as my hand started shaking, I tucked it underneath my thigh to stop it from shaking and started breathing in and out like i practiced before in my meditation sessions every night and morning.

"Are you seriously crying right now?" I heard him ask, his voice dripping in concern. "Fuck! Tell her she's more than enough-" I heard someone else say. Is that Chris? "Shut up" Mal spat harshly at whoever was with him

"Yeah i am" I mumbled feeling embarrassed "I'm tired of crying you can't understand it b! I just recently stopped thinking about him and everything but he called me yesterday and then he was there at the restaurant and i saw him! I wanted to cry in front of him– to scream and just hit him for showing up after months of being away but we were in public I couldn't do it- I didn't wanna show him I still care yet he knows me too well I know he could tell" I quickly said feeling my lungs about to explode as I sniffed and shook