That Lost Feeling {OUAT fan fiction}

Chapter 20

Life is like photography, we develop from the negatives

To say they were taken by surprise is an understatement. When we entered the room, fully dressed and holding hands, all the early morning conversations died and everyone gaped at us open mouthed. The silence of surprise turned into an awkward one when no one knew what they should say. Everyone eyes skimmed over me, going to Hook next and then back to me, observing my red cheeks, my messed up hair and lastly looking at our entwined hands as Hook’s index finger was massaging a tense muscle in my hand. We didn’t need to explain anything; they could come up with an explanation their selves. It’s not that hard to read between the lines.

Now I don’t know how long we are standing there, everyone staring, Hook tensed and me awfully aware of his touch and his finger brushing over my hand which is the only movement in the room. My heart bounces against my ribs and for once it has nothing to do with Hook’s presence, but with the fear of the reaction our appearance will cause. These guys are pirates after all. Impulsive, most of them short tempered. I have no idea how they will react.

Slowly, surprise fades and expressions shows on their faces. Ian, Smee and Sam look worried and as I lock Ian’s eyes I can read the question in them.

Are you sure you won’t get hurt again?

I quickly look away from him and let my eyes take the others reactions in. Derek and Hawk seem to feel uneasy, not knowing to be happy their captain is back or regret that he is. In the last two weeks, even those two have grown to like me somewhat.

Daniel raises his eyebrow to me as I meet his gaze and I bite my lip as I look at the last person in the room.

Tinkerbell’s expression is the worst. Anger, directed towards Hook and disappointment directed towards me. A stab of pain crushes my chest and I’m not so sure about my decision all of a sudden. Hook senses my unease and squeezes my hand when I’m about to let go. I can almost hear his dark, low voice in my head.

Get it over with, love.

I take a long shaky breath, but when I’m about to say something –anything- Tink finds her voice again and cuts me off.

‘What the hell do you think you’re doing here?’ She hisses though clenched teeth to Hook and takes a step forward. ‘You think you can walk back into her life, the life of my friend may I add and then break her heart again?’ Then before he can say something, she turns to me.

‘And you. Are stupid or just so desperate that you let him?’ Ouch. That stings. A lot. She isn’t done yet. ‘I warned you, but you didn’t listen and now just as I finally thought you learned it the hard way, you let him back in like nothing happened! What is wrong with you?’ Now, Ian gets out of his daze and puts a hand on Tink’s shoulder, but she shakes him off. The knot in my stomach grows bigger. They didn’t hear our conversation/fight last night. The things he said. They don’t know how real this is. All they can remember is the pirate who made a mistake and left a girl broken hearted. A mistake. But all mistakes can be fixed. If their reactions and Tinkerbell’s words wouldn’t hurt that much, I would be touched about how much they care for me, but now I can’t. Now it is Hook’s turn.

‘Now, now Tink, I just…’ he starts, but she cuts him off just as she did with me.

‘Don’t you Tink me. You can’t go around hurting people I care about and then pretend like nothing happened.’

‘You’re right, I can’t.’ Hook says and Tink opens her mouth to object, but then realizes what he said and closes it again. He continuous fast. ‘I am not pretending like nothing happened. I made a mistake. I just needed a reminder I can make my mistakes right.’ He lets go of my hand and wraps his arm around my waist. ‘We talked last night.’