That Lost Feeling {OUAT fan fiction}

Chapter 22

This is the last chapter!! This is so weird, I'm gonna miss writing this story. I kinda grown to care for my characters :'D There will be an epilogue that I will post soon. Never thought I'd finish it, but I'm glad I did.

I found out that a pirates definition of ‘soon’ does really mean ‘soon’.

When I come back from my father’s house within the hour –I didn’t want to stick longer than strictly needed- the crew has already packed up my books, all my clothes and some other stuff I didn’t even know I had. Soon means for them tomorrow. They are so excited to go down to Maine and finally do something. They have been locked up in my house mostly for the three weeks since we came home. Or since I came home. I realize now how selfish I have been. I should’ve moved to Storybrook already. But I was too afraid, kept making excuses.

What if Hook is still there? What if he isn’t? What if he is dead? Or a murderer? And what about my dad? I can’t leave him, can I?

The worst thing is that I knew I was being selfish and I accepted it. That is not who I normally am, but I think the last couple of weeks had beaten me down so much I just couldn’t take anything more than what I knew. New York City. I think now I also didn’t want to leave because this is the only place that will never change for me, the only place where everything is perfectly normal and easy. As easy as life goes anyway. But I was wrong. I can’t stay in a place where I have to lie, be selfish and feel uneasy all the time. My chapter in New York City is closed. It is time I let my mother go, time to let the old me go and embrace the new one. And above all, embrace the happiness that I have instead of push it away –which I seem to be very good at.

The next chapter will be called Storybrook and hopefully it will be a good one.

I had already found an apartment there. I can rent a place until I have enough money to buy something. Of course there is plenty of space in Storybrook. Until recently no one outside did know it existed and still there are a very few.

While everyone is stashing boxes, I call every removal company I can find in New York City to find someone who is willing to move us tomorrow. It takes me about two hours and about a hundred phone calls, but eventually I find a small company that hasn’t anything scheduled yet for tomorrow and the owner didn’t seemed to care about the short notice. He didn’t even ask questions, as some of the other’s did. I guess he is just happy he still has a job, no matter the reason why.

I hang up the phone, having everything set up for tomorrow ten o’clock when I see Hook standing at the other side of the room. Through every phone conversation I have watched him, without him noticing of course, and he has been intrigued by all the stuff I own. As he was filling up boxes with things I want to take with me, he held every item slightly longer than strictly needed and so now and then he would frown at something.

Now he has a picture in his hand and he examines it with furrowed eyebrows and I’m pretty sure he didn’t even noticed me getting off the phone. Maybe he tuned my boring conversations with the boring moving companies out.

I walk over to him, slightly quieter than normal and I wrap my arms around his waist from behind. I know he is a bit startled when I feel his muscles tense under my arms, but he relaxes immediately. At first I smile, but then I can look over his shoulder to see what he is looking at and the smile fades quickly.

It is a picture of me and my mom. I was about fifteen; I remember this was taken half a year before she died. I haven’t changed a lot over the years, except for growing older of course. In the picture, I’m standing in the garden of my parents house –which was still mine too then- and I have my arm wrapped around my mom when I noticed dad with the camera. The picture shows my smile perfectly and my mom looks just as happy. Then I couldn’t have imagined my mom killing herself just a few months later. I still don’t believe it when I look at this picture. Maybe that’s why I like this picture so much even though it isn’t the last one taken.