That Lost Feeling {OUAT fan fiction}

Chapter 15

The only way out of this labyrinth of suffering is to forgive.

-John Green

‘My home.’

Hook doesn’t say anything and when I look at him from the corner of my eye, I see he is staring at the city skyline. No, not the city itself. He is staring to somewhere higher, the actual sky. I wonder why.

But then I get distracted by a feeling of joy. It washes over me and leaves me speechless. I did it. I am home. Not only that, I’ve come home with a bunch of new friends, a boyfriend –or well, not official, but whatever- and a new me. I’ve never been happier.

Then I realize I still don’t have a story to tell my dad. And none of my friends have a place to stay without money. Not only money is a problem, they also have no idea how this world works. I can’t take all of them in. I try to think of how many I can have in my house, then I realize I have a spare room for Tinkerbell, Hook can stay in my room of course, and then one on the couch and I think I can put a mattress on the floor. That makes four. There is no room of everyone and even then, my salary isn’t enough to maintain five people. And none of them can have a job before I taught them about our daily life, which is totally different from theirs.

Just as before, we hadn’t thought this through.

Oh my god, what have I gotten myself into?

One night won’t break me. Not completely anyway. Then tomorrow I have to tell them all I know and maybe I can lend them some money… Who am I fooling except for myself? My little bit of money may buy them a few nights in a motel and food for a month when try watch the prices. But after that they will have nothing. Even normal people have to wait years before they find a job sometimes. How will any of them survive a job interview without my help?

I’m doomed. I really need to find a new job.

When I think about it, even getting to my house will be a hell of a task. We all look dirty from the hike from Neverland’s beach to Peter Pan’s camp. Some of us have even torn clothes from the big fight and Hawk’s is covered in blood. How can we walk all that way without not drawing attention to ourselves?

Yes, that’s what I thought too. That’s impossible.

I really want to slap myself for not thinking of any of this before. Well, we’ve been a bit preoccupied with trying to stay alive, but still. I try to make a list of all the problems we’ll be facing in my head, the small and the bigger once, just like I used to do when my mom died. Keeps you focused you know.

1- getting clean clothes.

2- going to my house without hold ups.

3- coming up with a story to tell dad and the police.

4- finding a place to stay for everyone.

5- teaching them.

And last but not least,

6- finding money for all of the above, somehow.

Now I’ve enlisted it I feel better. This has always helped me to face my problems and fears and even though this is different, it feels a tiny little bit better.

When I finally tear my eyes of the breathtaking skyline, I see everyone staring at it as lost sheep’s. If my mind is already blown away by all this, they must be going nuts right now. I decide it is time to do something. We can’t stand here forever waiting for a solution to come our way.

‘Okay, everyone.’ I say to draw their attention away from New York City, which must seem crazy to them. To big, with too many unfamiliar buildings. I’ve chosen a great city to live in… ‘First things first, we need to get new cloths. We are not going to make it in this.’ I say, gesturing at my ripped, dirty clothing as the crew slowly gets a grip. My crew.