That Lost Feeling {OUAT fan fiction}

Chapter 5

'People cry, not because they're weak. It's because they've been strong for too long.'

- Johnny Depp

Even though Hook dragged me over his shoulder, my shirt and my hair got wet with the stupid seawater. Hook showed me a room I can stay, until we find a way home and right now I’m trying to dry my hair by running my fingers through it over and over again. Not working well, but I don’t have the comforts of a hairdryer. I look around the room, still running my fingers through my hair. It is not much, just a bed, a small bureau and a chair. But it is enough. Weird, just yesterday, I lived in a life where it is normal to have light and TV and other entertainment twenty-four seven. Here there is nothing. It is just about surviving and killing the time you have left when you’re not running for your life. Maybe this would be a good time to start writing again…

I hear footsteps cracking underneath someone’s feet and I look up through the open door to see who it is. Then Smee puts his head around the door and smiles to me, still a bit unsure. Somehow I feel a bit disappointed and I try not to make it show.

‘We haven’t been properly introduced.’ He says, walking into my room, invited by my smile and he holds out his hand to me.

‘I’m Smee.’

‘Carrie.’ I answer. ‘Nice to meet you.’

‘How did you get here Carrie?’ he asks and I have to think a bit before I answer.

‘I honestly…’ I start truthfully, ‘have no idea.’

The only thing I’m not going to tell him that it is possible I got here on my own will power, as Pan said to me earlier.  The lost girl with the purest soul. Bull shit. It sound so stupid and silly I will never repeat it. Ever.

Smee still seems to feel uneasy around me and a silence follows while he is picking the hem of his shirt. I remember what I was thinking before he came in. Starting writing again.

‘You wouldn’t know where I can find paper and a pencil, would you?’

‘Well, I think the Captain has some on his desk, just go ask if he has some.’ Smee says to me with a smile and he gives me the directions to Hooks room.

I walk down the hallway to the end and go left where Smee told me I could find Hook.

I’m not sure I’m here for the paper, or for the person I have to get it from. Probably both. I better admit it right now.

I stopped writing after my mother died and I have thought about beginning several times, but I never did. Now I’m standing in frond of Hook’s door and I’m just bringing up my hand to knock when I hear his voice behind it.

‘Come on in, beautiful.’

For a second I’m disorientated but then I open the door, trying not to be hesitant.

Hook is standing behind a desk, running his hand through his hair and then he looks up to me.

‘How did you know it was me?’ I ask, walking up to him while I put my hands in my pockets.

‘You’re the only one here who walks so lightly.’

I look around the room. There are several maps hanging on the wall from different worlds. I recognize one of Neverland and one that says ‘Enchanted Forest’, which is where Hook comes from, but then I see one I would recognize everywhere. A map of my world with the familiar lines drawn on it, separating the different countries and the blue colour marking the oceans. I walk closer to it and run my finger over the part of the map of the United States. Someone –probably Hook- has drawn a big dot on it and encircled the name of the town.