That Lost Feeling {OUAT fan fiction}

Epilogue

Two months later...

It’s been over three months since I first entered Neverland. Three months since I fell in love with Killian Jones. More than two months since Killian came back. Two months since I left New York City behind me and started my new life in Storybrook.

A lot has happened. Or maybe not. Things have changed, things remained. Life happens.

Killian and I still share the apartment and the crew stays at Grannies until they have enough money to find something their selves. I wanted to take them in, but none of them agreed with me.

‘You’ve done enough for us.’ Tinkerbell said taking my hand, but I wasn’t convinced.

‘But you don’t even have a job yet. None of you have. How you’re gonna do it?’

‘Granny is fine with us staying until we’re on our feet. We’ve caused you enough trouble already, Care.’ Ian said putting a hand on my shoulder.

‘They’re right you know.’ Smee adds and even Hawk and Derek nod.

‘But…’ I try one last time, but they won’t let me finish.

‘We love you, Carrie. We’re family.’

‘That is exactly why I need to help you.’ I responded, but it was helpless.

‘That is exactly why we need to leave.’ Tinkerbell said and I sigh.

‘Fine.’

I keep doing some work for the New York Times even though I’ve moved. It is a sort of freelancing and apart from that I’ve found a job at the Daily Mirror, Storybrook’s own little newspaper. Yeah, not as fancy but it will do. Killian has some jobs now and then. He does some things for Granny or for Emma and her father David who run the sheriff station together. Or well, Emma and Prince Charming. Henry brought me all up to date on their family tree and may I say; it is a screwed up one. Emma is the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming and as the product of true love; she is the savior who broke the curse. Only because of the curse, which kept everyone from ageing, Emma and her parents have the same age.

Their nice though. Everyone is here. And I have to say Emma has become a very good friend.

It may be stupid, but even though I’ve never been happier, I still have my doubts. The fact that Killian doesn’t have a real job confirms he isn’t ready to settle and it scares me to death. I don’t want him to decide this life isn’t enough for him. I’m scared he will leave again and travel the world without me. I’m scared that what I want in the future and what he wants are two very different things and I’m too afraid to say something about it. He has asked a few times when I suddenly bit my lip for no particular reason, but every time I just responded with ‘nothing’. I know I’m being childish, but I have the feeling he wants to travel the world as the pirate he is and I want that too, but I also want to settle here and have the family I’ve always thought I’d never have. 

So I just keep my mouth shut.

But today is the day we’re together for three months, if you count from the day it became official, and as bad as it is, I’ve avoided Killian as much as I could. When I woke up and realized what day it was I sort of freaked. Not a panic attack, but close to it. Killian kissed me good morning, even remembered it is our anniversary and he wanted to take me out to Grannies, but I came up with an excuse about having to meet Emma. So then I had to go and see her.

So now I’m walking though the park, looking for Emma and I see her sitting on one of the swings at the north side of the park. I walk over to her, passing a few kids running around and shake my head to their never dying energy.