Hounding Howard (COMPLETED)

36 Fighting

Althea POV

....
Love and Hate when stretched to
their extremes blind reasoning.
....

Ang sabi nila: love is blind. Siguro dahil pag umibig ka ay bulag ka sa dahilan at rason bakit mo inibig ang isang tao. But in my case.... marahil ay nabulag ako ng galit dahil sobrang akong umibig. At dahil din sa galit na yun ay nawala din sa akin ang tanging taong pinag alayan ko ng pag-ibig. I let hate ruled me. I nurture hate to a point that even love cant break through it and now I am paying the price. I lost the man that I love. I lost him.

Days turns to weeks and weeks turns to months but I was lethargic. Too consumed in despair and burdened by my guilt that I ruined what we had. Napag isip isip ko na kasalanan ko ang lahat ng ito. Walang ginawa si Howard kundi ang mgtiis, maghintay at maghabol and all I did is runaway, hide or deceive him. I was the one to blame from all of these. I was like a walking soul-less creature... breathing but not totally living. Alive but slowly whitering. And I let time pass me by... Uncaring with the world... Uncaring of the people around me. Unfeeling. And all I wanted is to numb the pain.

I heard my phone rang its seventh ring today but I didnt even lift a finger. Hinayaan ko lang mapagod ang nasa kabilang linya hanggang sa itigil na nito ang pagtawag. And soon silence greeted me again. I avoided my pain by closing my eyes and succumbing to sleep again. Sleeping is the only escape from all the guilt, the pain and the heartaches.

Nasilaw ang mata ko sa biglang liwanag na pumasok sa bintana ko ng hawiin iyon dahilan para bahagya kong minulat at sinamaan ng tingin ang taong may kagagawan ng panggigising sa akin. Napaangat sandali ang ulo ko sa unan at tinakip ko ang kamay ko sa mata ko, inaninag ang nakapameywang na lalaki na humawi ng bintana ko.

"Hey lazy ass! Hindi ka nanaman ba papasok? Tinatanong ka na ng agency kung talagang mag-quit ka na?! This is insane Althea! You're throwing everything you work hard for, your goals! your career! And God! You're so pale you can almost pass as a cast in a slouchy vampire movie!" Eksaherang ani ni Mark na iwinawasiwas pa ang kamay. Then he sighed heavily when he heard no response from me.

"Hanggang kelan ka hihiga lang dyan Althea? Stop sulking dear! This is not you!" Anito sa akin na ikinapikit ko na lang ng mata. I felt him sat on my bed and gently squeeze my arm.

"Babe, you said you finally have the annulment papers, but why did you not file it?! Do you still love the guy?! Kaya ka ba nagkakaganyan?! Babe, If you really love him, why are you still here and not chasing that hottie?" Mahinahon at seryosong anito habang pinilit nyang ipaling ang mukha ko paharap sa kanya.

I cant help the tears that rolled down my cheeks. Naaawang pinunas iyon ni Mark habang sapo nya ang mukha ko.

"Ayaw na nya sa akin. Walang nagbago sa nararamdaman ko, noon at ngayon mahal ko pa din pala sya. Kasalanan ko Mark, inuna ko ang magalit imbis na pakinggan ko sya. Inuna ko ang poot ko!" Aniko at nagsimula nanamang bumagsak ang mga luha sa mata ko. Bumuntong hininga ang binata at mataman akong tinitigan, maya maya ay pinunas na nya ang mga luhang walang tigil sa pagtulo sa mata ko. Matagal nyang hinimas himas ang likod ko hanggang humina ang pagluha ko at naging pagsinghot na iyon.

"Babe, I know this is not the right time to ask this, I just want to understand you pero.... what's poowth?" Seryosong anito na nagpatigil at kalaunan ay nagpatawa sa akin na maya maya pa ay sinundan na din ng tawa ni Mark. Daig ko ngayon ang isang baliw na umiiyak pero tumatawa. Natampal ko ang braso ni Mark.

"Ano ka ba?! Bakit ka ba nagpapatawa!" Aniko ng makabawi na at pinupunas ko ang mukha ko.

"Babe, hindi ko talaga alam ano yung poowth... huwag mo kasi akong gamitan ng malalim na tagalog!" Anito na nagtatawa pa din.

"Galit. Galit ang ibig sabihin nun!" Aniko sa lalaki.

"I see. But seriously, if you still love the guy then why dont you go to him and tell him?" Ani Mark sa malanding tono nya.

"I cant Mark. Its not that easy, He set me free. Ang sabi nya hindi na nya kaya. Ayaw na nya sa akin! Kung nakita mo ang mukha nya... he looked like a man who had enough, he despised me! He looked like a man who already gave up. He gave me up." Nanlulumong pahayag ko na ikinataas ng kilay ng bakla

"So? It's been three months and the guy must have changed his mind. Maybe he wanted to chase you again but he was just afraid of another rejection from you... why dont you make the first move and make him want you again, It wouldnt be hard since the guy is still your husband!" Ani Mark na ikinailing ko.

"I dont know if it will work Mark. My heart cant take another heartache if he rejected me. Pagod na ang puso ko." Nanghihinang sagot ko na ikinabuntong hininga muli ni Mark. Humiga sya at tumabi sa akin. Niyakap nya ako ng mahigpit habang sumisinghot singhot ako.

"Althea, naipahinga mo na ang puso mo! Three months pa nga eh! Kaya mo na ulit yan! You know, in love we have to take risk. Its like a gamble, a 50/50 chance, either we win or we lose. Just try Althea, try until you have given it your all and you played all your cards. You and Howard can still gamble on love. This cant be the end, remember: we only regret the chances we didnt take, right? So play your cards wisely this time, maybe you'll get lucky and win him?" He whispered in my ears as he stroke my back. I felt him kiss the top of my head and at that moment I know he is giving me the strength to fight. To fight another battle but... can I really do it? We lay there for a few more minutes as I internalize everything Mark said.

Maybe I should chase him!?
I should make an effort because I was the one who cause all of this hardship and heartaches.
Maybe we still have a chance?!
Maybe Howard still loves me?! He after all loved me when I was just sixteen, another few months wont change that so quickly.

Maybe...

And as if Mark can see the doubts in my eyes. He quickly pulled me into a sitting position and cupped my face to looked up to his.

"Kaya mo yan! Asawa mo pa din naman sya! Wala syang takas sa'yo diba?" Ani Mark na kumikindat kindat pa.

"Pero anong gagawin ko Mark?" Nanghihina ang loob na ani ko

"My God Althea! Nakalimutan mo na ba kung sino ka?! You're the vixen! Men are worshipping you! Seduce your husband and make his mouth waters from the sight of you! Medyo mukha ka lang bangkay ngayon but nothing a tan and a salon cant fix!" Anito na nagpatawa na sa akin. He chuckled and stood on the foot of the bed then he reached for my hand and pull me to a stand.

"Come on! Chop chop! Go take a bath because you so freaking stink and we'll head to the beach for some sun and then we'll hit the salon and spa!" Anito sabay tulak sa akin papunta sa banyo.

"Oo na! Maliligo na pero hindi naman ako ganoon kabaho ha!" Natatawang aniko sa binabae. Habang sinisinghot ang sa loob ng suot kong t-shirt.

"Paano mo maaamoy e nasanay na yang ilong mo sa amoy mo?! Now go! Bago pa tayo puntahan ng garbage collector dito sa bahay!" Eksaheradang anito na pumipilantik pa ang kamay

"Ay grabe ka na ha! OA mo na!" Aniko sa kanya na nagpatawa dito ng malutong.

Mark not only comforted me but he gave me the strength to keep on fighting. He gives me hope. Maybe I should really stop sulking and fight. Fight for him. Fight for us. Fight for love.

And that day I felt determined. I am determined to get him back.

I want my husband back and I will do everything to get him...