Broken Walls [COMPLETED]

Chapter Nineteen

"This is it." I say to Wolfia back in the whiteness of my mind. A mysterious gas comes from my locket and gathers itself in front of me, forming a visible copy of Wolfia in front of me. She smiles as a tear sheds from my eye. "You can't give up. We have come too far to crumble and let our walls fall down." She says. For some reason, the word 'we' makes my body feel numb, I could so easily fall over at just a single poke to my side. The strength in me disappears and I feel a rush a defeat fall over me. "Who was I kidding? I wasn't going to come out alive anyways." I say the words in a shaky way as my voice tries to break into million pieces. Her black leather jacket makes a crumpling sound as she walks toward me. She looks at me and grabs hold of my shoulders softly, shaking her head 'no'. "Everything that we have worked for isn't going to go to waste." She says with more reassuring force. I look at her, but steer clear from her eyes, knowing that one look at a stronger version of myself will just reveal the big secret. Deep down, I am weak and fragile, able to be broken if you know just where to hit me. I can hit myself where it hurts, by knowing the truth about myself, by seeing the real me.

I swallow hard, and take a deep breath through my nose, my hands shaky and sweaty. I release the air from my mouth and sink to the ground. A feeling of guilt waves over me and tries to eat me whole. Landon and everyone else fighting to protect me, what good is it to fight for me if I'm already dead? I shouldn't give up, I couldn't give up even if I tried. I value my life more than I thought and I know that giving up wont help much for anyone. Giving up makes me selfish and afraid, and that's not who I want to be. I put my head to my knees as my eyes burn with salty tears. Wolfia squats down and puts her hand to my hair, softly. I look up at her, accidentally looking into her dark blue eyes. They look tired, yet hungry for destruction. She looks strong and full of energy, as if ready to burst if I simply poked her with my finger. She pulls me to my feet and forces me to remember all of my memories, the good and the bad ones.

I see myself in the restaurant covered in food and remember how funny the waitress looked when she got fired. I remember the first time Landon kissed me, the first time my Taylor forced me to be her dress up doll. I remember the first time I made Landon jealous when the pizza delivery man came to the door. I remember the first time I saw Jordan, my first encounter with Wolfia. Did I really want to give all of that up? No, I wanted to be able to add on to those memories.

"Wake up," She chants peacefully over and over. "Please, wake up." Wolfia took my hand in hers and closed her eyes still chanting, and everything disappeared. I still hear the chanting as everything goes black, but the voice is different. It is deeper and more frantic. My eyes pop open and I gasp, pain enveloping my entire body. I cough and choke, sputtering blood to the grass and dirt. All around me is fire and more fire to as far as my eyes could see, and spreading quickly. I open my mouth to speak, I just cough and wheeze more. My whole body aches, my legs, my ears, my arms, my neck, my head, my stomach, my chest, and my feet all throb in unison, bringing more pain. I try to sit up, but I feel a pang in my ribs so awful I almost throw up. I double over and cough as I try to make since of what I see.

Ethan is nowhere to be seen and I try to keep myself from worrying. The world wobbles as gas rises into the sky from the flames and I find it hard to breathe. Forest fire, I think. TNT blew up, setting everything on fire. I bring myself to my feet, miraculously, and lean against the tree. I hear a quiet moan and I run to it. Laying on the ground, barely moving, I see Ethan, who doesn't look good. His chin is covered from blood and there is a deep gash on his cheek that time might not heal. His hair is searing at the ends and sprawled all over his head, sticking to his shiny forehead and everything around it. I somehow bring my hand down to his face as he motions me toward him. "No." I whisper, my voice sounding barely audible. Its shaky and dry, making me sound like I belong under some child's bed.

The pain is too immense to bear and I groan as I stoop to my knees beside Ethan. The ground spins around me but I keep my eyes open, and try to steady my breathing as Ethan groans in pain. "We have to get out of here." I say. He doesn't argue, but I know that I'm not strong enough to lift him up. As if things couldn't possibly get worse, I hear howling coming from behind me. Ethan opens his eyes slowly and turns to me. I watch his adam's apple shift as he swallows, blood trickling from his mouth and lips and everywhere else. "Go." He says. Tears blur my vision at his voice. That one word was a secret message telling me that Ethan wouldn't make it. I shake my head at the thought. "No," I say. "I'm not leaving you." My voice sounds shaky with tears. Ethan somehow manages to smile before he speaks again, taking my hand into his own, covered in burn marks and cuts. "The way you think," He pants. "Will always be a mystery to me." With those words, his eyes flutter to the back of his head and his grip on my hand loosens. His chests stops rising and falling and his smile fades.

The howling gets louder as I sit there and I knew I had to make a horrifying choice. I had to leave Ethans dead body to protect myself. I stood to my feet and ran away from the wolves behind me, dodging pits of fire and leaning on trees as I passed them. The fire would protect me, it would burn the air around me, so my scent would be too masked with charcoal and burning wood to follow. "Keep running." I pant to myself. I reach the end of a cliff and I have nowhere else to run but to the lake below me. I look back, hearing the frantic patter of paws before I launch myself off the cliff and dive head first, hoping the water isn't shallow.

When I hit the water, the first thing I feel, is my body engulfed in cold, heavy darkness. Then I feel the sting of the water on my skin, wherever I may have been injured or cut. I push myself toward the surface and throw my heavy hair from my face, panting for air. The wolves above me look over the cliff and run away. Somehow, thank God, they didn't see me. I swim slowly to the grass and pull my body onto it, my clothes heavy and weighing me down. I knew exactly where I was, and I knew where I had to go. I stood to my feet, wringing out my hair and shaking off as much water from my body as possible, before I began to walk again. The sun was in the middle of the sky, beaming down on me in the treeless meadow as I walked in grass that came up to my hips.

I don't know how long I walked until I found my destination, until I found my mother holding a gun, fighting alongside my pack. Until I realized my father and his pack were after me and I was their top priority. Until I realized that I had to tell Ryann about her brother.