Love Me Again

I Will Love You Till The End Of Time

So here is the forty fifth chapter.

Warning: if you're triggered by suicide or exteme depression then read at your own risk because this chapter does have mention of both.

Anyway, I hope you like it.
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Song: Blue Jeans- Lana Del Rey

Ryder's POV:

Mum called me home when I was having breakfast with Natalia. I told her I wouldn't come back until Rachel left but she forced me come back, saying she had something important to tell me. So a lot of stuff was on my mind as I drove home.

Firstly, Natalia's attitude today seemed strange. She wasn't being herself. Something was bothering her and I was going to find out what it was. Maybe I had confessed my feelings for her too soon.

Secondly, I didn't want to see Rachel today, especially after avoiding her for a good couple of days. I was still mad at her. That was an understatement, I hated her. Let's hope the good news my mum was going to tell me was actually good.

Everyone was sitting in the living room when I got home. It looked like some kind of conference. Everyone had serious looks on their faces. I put on my poker face before joining them. Rachel looked at me expectantly but I just ignored her. A hurt expression crossed her face.

"Ryder. Finally. I thought you wouldn't come." My mum said. I stiffly nodded.

"I'm here now. So what did you want to tell me?" I said coldly. My tone told her I wasn't going to stay here and listen to her all day.

"Sam and Rachel found a new place to stay and are moving out soon." She said.

"Good. So when are they leaving?" I said. I was extremely relieved by the news. Rachel looked even more hurt, as if she were expecting me to beg mum to let her stay. As if bitch.

"They'll move out this week. Sam could you please come to the kitchen with me." She said. I could obviously tell that she wanted me and Rachel to talk. That's why she was getting us alone.

"Mum it's pretty obvious what you're trying to do." I said to her. She smiled at me before heading out of the living room. Now it was just me and Rachel. I refused to talk to her.

"Ryder, I'm sorry." She said softly. I didn't buy it. I stared at her coldly.

"For what? I should be the one thanking you for actually showing me your true colors before I fell into some bigger trap." I literally spat the words out as if they were poison. She flinched.

"I know what I did was wrong. I realise that. I was wrong to call Natalia worthless. I was wrong to judge her. I realize how much you love her and that you'll always love her, no matter how hard I try to make you mine." She said sadly. I was shocked to hear her say that.

"You both deserve each other. She will love you like no one else can, Ryder. Not even I can love you like she can. You can see it in the way she looks at you, the way her eyes light up everytime you're around her." She said.

"Its funny how I never really understood love. Love is all about sacrifice and acceptance. And I'm not good at either." She said with a humorless laugh. It was weird watching her say all those deep things.

"I don't expect you forgive me anytime soon. I know how bad I hurt both of you. I just hope you find it in your heart to forgive me one day." She said. Her words were straight from the heart.

"Thank you, Rachel. For accepting your mistake. For realizing that I can't love you no matter what. I'm sorry for that by the way." I said guiltily. Rachel wasn't a bad person at heart. It was just the decisions she made which made her bad.