My online boyfriend~narusasu

XVIII

___________________________

A heartfelt letter to a close friend

My beloved internet,

You prove to me with every occasion and passing moment that you are more human than you appear. Every time I believe in you, every time I trust you to be there for me, you let me down. It is not a matter of whether you are dear to me or not, for I cannot fathom a life without you. Without you there, I would be just a miserable existence floating in this endless expanse of time.

Through thick and thin we have been together- watching one cat video after another, completing entire animes within days, going through memes and laughing together into the bright starry sky.

To always keep you by my side I paid your bills (well I made sure that dad did), brought a new and more capable router, argued with my parents, devoted all my time to you. I made sure you'd never go through any discomfort or difficulty.

Nevertheless, you countlessly took advantage of my affections and dependence on you and disappointed me when you were the only place I leaned on for support.

Please tell me. Why.
Why do you do that to me? Was my devotion not enough for you? Was the time we spent together not as memorable to you as it is to me? Did you feel that I would not give you enough of my attention now that I've discovered new people to converse with?

We both know me! I'm going to come running to hide behind you again sooner or later.

Our (I'm hoping)brief separation has caused me great sadness and I wish you back in my life.

Yours forever
Naruto

Conclusion of a heartfelt letter to a close friend

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I stared long and hard at my screen. It was not hard enough to burn holes through my phone. It was not hard enough to convince the internet to come back either.
This sucked.

My phone started ringing. Is there a new feature to make calls through grindr? OMG that is so kewl! I get to hear his voice!!

Oh wait. OMG that is so creepy! What if he has some kind of raspy voice?! What if he sounds squeaky?! What if it's actually all deep and sexy and smooth and I don't know how to speak and I end up making a complete embarrassment out of myself?!?!
I want to pick the call but I dont want to pick up the call. T.T

Ah. It stopped ringing.

ookay. I'll just curl up under the table or something and mentally stab myself with a spoon while constantly going over what a pathetic existence I lead.

The phone started ringing again. Hallelujah XD. I rushed to pick up the phone.

"Bless you for your persistence!"
"..."
"Oh hi mom."
"Yeah."
"I lived. Unexpectedly."
"Yeah."
"....no"
"I'll do it now."
"I was peeing!"
"Yep"
"Sure."
"Love you too."
"Kay bye"
"Ok."
"Hn"
"K"
"MOM!"
"Yeah, listen.."
"I wanted to know if-"
"Mom?"
"....."
"MOM!!"

I can't believe she just cut on me like that! This level of betrayal...so heart shattering.
(I fucking swear if I'd done that to her she would make me stand on the lawn wearing the board of shame). What do I do about the internet now?

My eyes flickered over to where my food was sitting untouched on my plate. I looked towards the time cautiously.
Fuck. I can't believe I just sat here texting without eating for an entire hour! And I still have homework to complete.