Handwritten Words

Inside Depression

How do you really feel? They all ask. 
Outside, you feel fine. You smile and laugh and seem like the most happiest person of all time. But, what they dont know...is that happiness is all actually fake.
You dont feel happy. You dont feel jumpy or excited. It's all a lie. You smile, not for yourself, but for others. You dont want others to know what you actually feel. You dont want to be, in other words, a burden.
Inside, you feel broken. You feel torn. You feel like your heart has fallen and now it's on the ground in million pieces. You feel like a cloud of depression is on top of you and it's raining on your head. All negative comes rushing in your head, kicking out every piece of positive that you receive. As those emotions stay there longer, it comes to the point where you cant even fake a smile anymore. It comes to the point where it feels like it's impossible to even laugh.
When you are in a room filled with many people, you feel completely alone, even if you are surrounded by friends. You feel like the only things around you are the demons in your mind and the voices being heard. And even then, when you try to be happy, you convince yourself to the point when you are around others, you are happy. But when you are alone in your room, you notice that your emotions were all a lie because you were never happy. The whole time you were depressed.

You lie a lot. That's what comes with depression. You convince yourself only the fake. 

So, what really is depression? What is actually inside depression? What comes with depression?

Depression is darkness, the cold, and the fear. You feel fear, and alone, and there is no light to escape that evil place. You hear no one but the voice inside. Depression can go as far as suicide, self-harm, binge and purge, anorexia, bulimia, and any other mental illness out there in this cruel world.

Depression can go as far to the point where all you see is a blade.