Handwritten Words

Forgotten Not

You keep coming back into my mind all over again. There is no way to get you out of my life.

I may not be thinking of you, but you still exist and you're still inside my world.

I've said some deep stuff in my past and I still do. I've said some stupid stuff and I still do. I've said some false things and I still do.

But this isn't one of them.

Not because I hate you or because you did something to my life and it affected me in a way. It's because I want to forget all those good moments.

Why?

Because it just makes this world seem more like hell in a way. I'm living my life black and grey right now and only seeing that little light of past happiness makes me cry.

I want to forget you because you were my everything at one point. You were the one I was planning everything with. The one I would give up anything for.

Remember?

" I can live without money, I can live without the fame and if everything was sunny, I can live without the rain. If I ever went up to heaven, I would fall right back down. That life wouldn't be living, cause you're the one I couldn't live without "

Remember?

I want to forget you because you were actually something in my life. You actually made me smile.

I want to forget you because even though you made me feel good, you also caused me to have so many more problems. Not because you had problems, but because I was always worried, I cared too much, I loved too much, etc etc.

I want to forget you for reasons I can't even explain.

But no matter how much I try, I cant. I probably won't talk to you or won't face you when you're around, but I WONT forget you.

I'm happy, at least I'm starting to be happy. Ever since I started getting much more love and care from other and now that I have my best friend back, I'm slowly being myself again.

I'm eating more, I'm smiling more, I'm laughing more, I'm myself more.

I laugh when I get deep into my thoughts when certain songs come to mind.

" 105 is the number that comes to my head, when I think of all the years I wanna be with you "

" Cause baby sometimes, I can tell just by your face this part of us been gone, for so long. And I know there's no replacing what we had going on, for so long. But when it hurts, I can make it better. Girl if it works, it's gonna be forever. Been through the worst, made it through the weather. The problems and the pain, but love don't change "

I'm good and I'm doing fine. The breakup? It's in my past for right now, well, forever. Will I remember it? Yes, but there is nothing I can actually do. Am I still sad? Yes, but I'm slowly healing.

Look, I won't forget you no matter how much I try. I say I will But have I actually? Not.

You are my first real love, why would my mind be actually willing to forget you? First love is forever, no matter what.

Someone never forgets their first love.

So have I forgotten you? Nope.

Will I? Probably not.

Will I try to? I can care less if I do or not as long as I'm happy.

Do I still love you? Yes.

Do I still care? Yes.

One again...

"Love Don't Change"