Not Telling Anyone

A Meeting with a Demon

Isaac and I laid in bed for a while after that. Him on his back, and me curled into him. After an hour had passed Isaac's stomach growled, making us laugh.   
"I guess we should go have breakfast," I said giggling.
"Please," he said, shooting up. He grabbed my arm, pulling me up, and dragging me along behind him. We ran through the house until we ended up the kitchen.
"You're such a goofball," I stated, laughing.     
"Good morning you two," Dave said, entering the kitchen pulling on a jacket.
"Heading out Dad?" Isaac asked.
"Yeah. You're mom got called into work and she's going to drop me off at the repair/dealership where my car broke down. Their going to buy the car for parts, and I'm going to get my new car," he explained. "So now I have to go meet your mother in the car. Have a good day!"
With that he grabbed an apple and proceeded out the kitchen. We said bye and turned to each other.
"Okay! We have fruit, bagels, peanut butter, nutella..." Isaac said roaming looking for food.
"Peanut butter, nutella, and fruit," I said excitedly. I haven't had nutella in a long time. "Where's your bowls?"
He pointed to the cabinet and grabbed the food while I grabbed one bowl. He set a big bowl full of various fruits, and the two spreads on the table.
"Spoons?" I asked. He pointed out the drawer, and I grabbed one.
I scooped a big heap of Nutella, and an equal sized heap of peanut butter, put them in the bowl, and mixed adding more here and there. I mixed them until the mixture turned liquidy, and dipped a strawberry, from the bowl, in an ate it.
Isaac stared at me the whole time, alternating from confusion to disgust.
"What the hell?" he asked.
"What?" I asked.
"You're dipping fruit into a weird concoction of nutella and peanut butter."
"It's good!"
"You're weird."
"Try it," I demanded, dipping another strawberry in the mix and held it out to him.
"Fineeee," he sighed in fake exasperation. He took it, and took a bite.
"Hmm... Fine, it's good, but it's still weird."
I rolled my eyes with an amused smile.

.       .      .

"It'll be okay. I'll be there the whole time. You can do this," Isaac gave me a little pep talk as we sat at a table in the visitors area, waiting for guards to bring her out.
Other inmates talked to their families/friends at other tables. A man was even playing Go Fish with his daughter and wife. They looked happy like they were a normal family that wasn't in a prison. This place had some leeway, I guess, if you've been good. My mother was in the hard lock up zone, that's why it was taking so long.
I took a deep breath. "I'm okay. I'm stronger this time."
A guard approached us. "We're going to have you guys follow me to the more secure visiting room."
We nodded our heads and stood up following the guard to a set of double doors. She typed in  code on the keypad, scanned her ID badge, the thing buzzed, and she lead us through the doors, I immediately scanned the room.
    There were guards at every corner and in the middle of every wall, or I should say fence. There was three layers of fence perimeter, with guards patrolling in the two walk ways. Some inmates had guards standing behind them, and every inmate was handcuffed to the table in front of them.
I was watching a K-9 unit patrolling when I saw her. She was in the far back corner. Her brown hair was up in a bun, her signature hair style and reason I refuse to put my hair up like that (except for marching band because have to make sure our hair stays up in the hats). Her stubby fingers absently playing with the chain from her handcuffs in front of her. Her icy blue eyes were also watching the K-9 patrol.
I took another deep breath as we started heading towards her. My heartbeat started picking up, my flight instinct was kicking in big time, but I kept doing the opposite. I grabbed Isaac's hand and tried to regulate my breathing. Isaac squeezed my hand as if to ask of I'll be alright. I looked up at him with a small smile that I hope said, "I'll hopefully live."
From this distance she looked harmless, she looked like she did when I was a kid. That changed when we got there. My heart was trying its damnedest to bust out of my chest.
"Janine you have some visitors," the guard spoke up.
Her gazed turned away from the K-9 patrol and fixated on me. I began to panic even more, if possible, on the inside. Her cold eyes were piercing through me as she looked me up and down, a smirk forming on her features.
"Katrina, come to visit your mother after all these years?" she said in her typical condescending tone. "It's been five years since you and your brother imagined the whole incident."
"You're the one who asked for this, and if this is how you're going to be, we'll walk out," I snapped, surprising myself.
"Oh my, Katrina finally learned how to talk to people. Good for you, have a seat," more snide tone came from her.
I slid onto the bench, Isaac following suit. The guard left to take her position on the wall. I kind of wished she'd stay nearby, I had a horrible feeling. Isaac grabbed my hand under the table, and gave a gentle squeeze.
"So what do you want from Ash and I?" I asked, faking confidence.
"Whoa slow down there. I'll get to that, but first where's your brother today? Is he hiding at home?"
"No. he's working. Something you never did," I snapped.
"Feistiness, you get that from me you know," she pulled an evil smile, she knew I would try my hardest to not be like her. She was amusing herself. She was taunting me for her amusement. I wasn't going to give it to her. I had so much anger built up from all these years that was prepared to defend myself against her, even if I was hyperventilating on the inside.
"I figured I got my bitch side from you. Doesn't come out too often."
"Watch your language you little bitch," she snapped mockingly.
"You have no jurisdiction over me. Now what do you want," I spat at her.
"Easy there. Aren't you going to introduce you little friend to me?"
"My name is Isaac. I'm her boyfriend, now what do you want from her?" Isaac spoke up.
"Easy, I'm getting there. Both of you are too anxious. I have questions."
"Like what?" I asked sternly.
"I wanna know more about your little boy toy here. Where are you from? How old are you? What happened to your arm? Why her?"
"He doesn't have to tell you shit," I said.
"Why? Afraid of the answer?" she raised an eyebrow.
Yes. "No, you're invading his personal business," I replied.
"They're general questions."
"What's your motive?" I shot at her.
"I have no idea what you mean," she rolled her eyes.
"You ask for Ash and I to come her so we can discuss business. I'm here and all you're doing is taunting me. I see what you're doing and it's not going to work," I said, confidently.
"I'm not doing anything, but having a casual conversation," she cracked a crooked smirk.
"You're trying to unsettle me, it's your game. You know how to mess with our minds, you did it for years. I know how it works. You can try all you want, but you're not getting in my head."
    She leaned forward slightly, and whispered menacingly, "I don't have to try, I already am."
    My face dropped, I couldn't hide it. I knew she was right. She chuckled her evil laugh.
    "I think we're done here let's go Kat," Isaac said, standing up while trying get me up.
    "You know I'm right. I'm the reason you're so afraid," she said in a low tone, so only I could hear. "That's no one is able to love you. You're so weak, and fragile. You're still as worthless as the day you were born. You probably ask yourself everyday why he chose you, let me tell you something. He chose you as a charity project. He doesn't like you, he just wants something from you and when he gets it he'll leave you in the dust. After all who could ever love someone like you, cause I sure as hell don't."
    I was frozen. I couldn't move, couldn't speak. The only thing that seemed to be my brain. My thoughts were going a million miles per hour, raging in a war.
    She's right and you know it.
    No, Isaac's not like that.
    You sure about that?
    Yes, I trust him.
    We don't trust anybody.
    Yes, we do. We trust our family, and him. He's different, he cares.
    Do we really trust them though?

    The voices. The voices in my head were screaming at each other. It was so loud, my head hurt, I couldn't move. The voices, she knew how to talk directly at them, and start them up. That's what she wanted. She wanted me unrattled before her trial, in a couple weeks.
Shouldn't have come, should've listened to Ash. Why can't you listen? Why can't you do anything right? Why can't you be smart and think before you do?
Another voice popped up, my head felt like it was going to explode. I was malfunctioning, breaking down on the inside. I couldn't let her see it, but I knew she could tell what was happening inside my mind, and she was relishing in it. I was on the brink of openly panicking.
That's when the guard came back, and pulled her back so she was sitting straight. I blinked, and Isaac gently pulled me up, and held me close to him.
I squeaked out one last thing to her. "You won't win."
"But sweetie, I already have."
Another guard came up, and lead us to the door, and let us out. We walked out, me leaned into Isaac's shoulder, and Isaac held one arm around me. Isaac got me settled in the car, and hopped in. The whole ride home was silent. Well I was silent. Isaac was ranting and raving, trying to flail his bad arm around in exasperation. He was pissed, but I wasn't able to listen.
I wanted to. I wanted to help calm him down. I wanted to tell him that it'd be alright, but I couldn't speak. I couldn't move. I couldn't function. The only thing working was the voices. She switched them on again, and now they aren't going to turn off.