Chapter 40- Telling My Truth

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"How are we going to help Snart? He seemed fine working with Lewis" Barry said

"Lewis must be blackmailing Lenny then. Using me and Lisa against him" I explained.

Barry sighed. Even after everything that has happened between us, he seems to still care about his older sister, which is sweet of him.

"I'm gonna go talk to him" Barry said

"What do you mean?" Lisa asked

"There's this bar that he goes to, Saints and Sinners, I'm going to see if he's there" Barry had said

"In the red suit? You'll get jumped the moment you step foot inside" Lisa teased

"I'll go without the suit, or send a mutual friend to talk to him" Barry retorted

I knew Barry added the last part for in case Lisa and I tried to follow him. Lisa snorted and muttered something about Lenny not having friends before walking off, probably to find Cisco.

"And what are you going to do if he's there? Talk to him?" I asked

Barry pursed his lips.

"Yeah, that's the plan" he said

"And what if he's not alone? What if Lewis is with him?" I asked, starting to worry about my brother's safety.

"I'll figure something out, I promise" Barry said, before walking off

"Just be careful" I muttered under my breath, knowing that no one other than myself would hear it. 

After Barry left, Lisa and I just sat around the cortex, waiting for some news about anything. The both of us were clearly bored and trying to find small things to entertain ourselves with. I looked over my shoulder and saw Caitlin working in the little medical room of the cortex. I looked over to Lisa and saw he glancing at Cisco. I bit my lip, contemplating my next move. I eventually got up and walked over to Caitlin.

"'Sup doc?" I asked as I reached the doorway of the medical room

Caitlin didn't even look at me, let alone respond.

"I'm not going to apologize for everything I did" I said, crossing my arms over my chest.

"I wouldn't expect a criminal to" Caitlin said under her breath

"I deserved that. What I am sorry for doing, is hurting you... and Cisco and Barry. I never wanted to hurt any of you" I said

Caitlin didn't say anything.

"I don't care if you accept my apology, I just needed you to know that I never wanted to hurt you guys, Barry and Cisco seem to know that and... well now you do too" I said

I turned on my heel, about to leave Caitlin alone, when she responded.

"Then why did you leave? We could have helped you?" Caitlin asked

"Becuase I don't belong here. I belong with Lenny and Mick and Lisa" I said

"Why? Because their evil? Because they understand you more than we do? For Christ's sake, Barry is your brother, he probably gets you more than Snart ever could" Caitlin said angrily

"I belong with them because I started to lose control over my magic and when I am with them, I feel in control. I didn't want to hurt any of you" I explained

No one knew that I was starting to lose control over my magic all those months ago, not even Lenny.

"When did it start?" Caitlin asked

"When I was affected by Bivilo. After you guys got me back in control of my emotions, I could feel my magic still flowing inside of me, wanting to be released into something powerful and probably dangerous. I had no idea what to do, Oliver had an arrow on me and I wasn't sure how to safely expel it" I explained

"So you ran..." Caitlin added

"I went to someone who had always helped me with my magic ever since he found out about them" I said

"Snart helped you?" Caitlin asked sincerely 

I nodded my head.

"Before I got arrested, I had troubles focusing my magic, Lenny helped me with that. When I had joined him again, he and Mick helped me track down an ancient spell book that not only gave me more spells to use, but told me how to focus my magic and hurt people less" I explained

"I didn't know" Caitlin said

"I didn't want you guys to worry about it when I knew of a solution" I said

Caitlin didn't say anything, but she walked over to me and hugged me. It was a small gesture, but it showed, that she may not fully trust me yet, but she does forgive me for some of the things that I have done.

"Hey, Caitlin , Raven, I need you guys to see this!" Cisco yelled from the main part of the cortex.

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