Suga's Sister (Book 1)

Chapter: 43

(Part Two of chapter 42)

~still in Jade's Pov~

I when I saw that Seventeen had arrived I quickly excused myself politely, before smiling widely and waving excitedly over to them as I quickly approached them. Once I arrived I instantly began hugging them all in my excitement, happy to see another group that I recognized not to mention all their friendly faces. They all seemed pretty happy to see me as well though, so I don't think that they minded when I hugged them all*

Jade: Oh Thank goodness you guys are here, I missed y'all. Come on in and join the party. *I said greeting them all comfortably, while hooking my arm around Vernon's, who honestly has become one of my best friends over the last month or so. However knowing that Vernon and I were close the guys simply excepted this gesture as completely normal and joined us as we travel down the stairs and over to join the other gathered idols, while I continued to visit with Vernon for a moment, only the whole time we talked we conversed in English, so only a couple of the other members had a clue as to what we were talking about. But they didn't seem to mind as they had gotten used to this and saw it as a habit of Vernon and I's, as we were always conversing in English whenever we hung out.* I just met this huge Idol group, apparently they are planning to transfer to our class at least some of their younger members are. They seem nice, a little awkward but nice. So anyway uh I sort of have this Dilemma, now that I am back in LA I kind of want to show the boys around, and you know take them to see where I grew up, and where I went to school, and where my band used to play, and stuff and you know maybe visit some of my old hangouts, you know sorta show them what my life was like here in LA, you know before I moved to Korea and everything sort of fell apart with my life/friends here. But the thing is that I really don't want to run into my ex-boyfriend anywhere, because well that would not be good. I mean not only do I really not want to see him, but well I am pretty sure my brother and well all the guys really, will kill him if we do run into him anywhere. I am also not that crazy about seeing my old friend group right now, because I am still kind of upset over the whole betrayal and being lied to thing But at the same time this might be our only chance to fix things. I mean I live in Korea now it's not like I'll be flying over to LA every other weekend or something, and well this may be the only trip we make here for quite a while, and so even though I am still incredibly hurt by what they did. I am just wondering, oh I don't know... do you think I should at least try to let them know that I am town and see if we can meet up somewhere. I mean I do miss them and I guess I do want to fix things with them someday so that we can all go back to being friends again. Because well too much has happened between us for me to just cut them out of my life completely, and I do care about them. It's just that I am still so hurt I mean they lied to me, they all lied to me and they kept that huge secret from me. Nevermind about Jessica stealing my man, because well that is just Jess, she is a flirt she can't help it, and well if Dylan really loved me he wouldn't of cheated on me in the first place. So you know while I know he didn't cause this break up entirely on his own and Jess surely played her part in it. Well let's face it, even if he hadn't cheated on me with one of my best friends, we probably wouldn't of worked out anyway, I mean we live on different continents now, we're on opposite sides of the world from each other, and well to be honest the 14 hour time difference would of killed our relationship anyway, but well I mean let's be honest men come and go, but sisterhood is forever... and these girls are my sisters, I mean we have been through everything together. I mean Ashley and I have been friends since like the 3rd grade, and America and I have known each other since Junior high, and Jenny and I were basically raised in church together, and well Jess and I met through the band, but still we were really good friends too. So you know we all are really close and they know me so well, and I honestly believe that they wanted to tell me what was going on, they really did. But They just didn't know how, Because they didn't want to hurt me. But also because Jess is their friend too and they didn't want to betray her either, so things got a little sticky and complicated and I get that. So I can kind of understand why they hid it from me and I know that they only did what they did, to protect me and because they were trying to be a good friend to Jess too. I get it I really do.... But the way that they did it was just so wrong, and Jess was wrong for putting them in that position. The way that they just started avoiding my calls and then making up excuses for not talking to me and sort of phasing me out in an attempt to cover for her, when she was who was out stealing my boyfriend, well it was just wrong... and sometimes they would even outright lie to me about what was going on... It's just, It was all just so shady. You know? and So While I know I that I should forgive them, because I am a Christian and as a Christian that's what I'm called to do... and well to be honest I really want to forgive them, because we are so close and we were in the band together and all, and they are my best friends, and are sort of like my sisters and we really have been through so much together you know, that it almost seems like a shame to throw that all the way over a guy... and not even a very good one considering he cheated on me. So It's not even like we are soulmates or anything, because if we were, he wouldn't of cheated on me in the first place... But still, He was my first love and I really cared about him. I mean we were together for 3 years and so even though I am mad at him and what he did really hurt me, I can't bring myself to hate him. In fact I can't even really blame him? I mean Jess is great. She is smart, she is fun, she is beautiful and she lives here, while I *sighs heavily* I left him and moved to Korea. *I said miserably* now granted it wasn't really my choice, but well the fact is that she was here and I was there, and so while I was hurt by what they did, I can't blame them entirely for what happened... and well like I said I really do care about them both of them and I want them to be happy. I mean I am not cynical enough to wish them any ill will, or try to tear them apart, but at the same time I am not sure I am mature enough to wish them well just yet either. *sighs frustratedly * ugh... But I really want to be... I want to be able to celebrate my friends happiness, regardless of how it makes me feel. I want to get to a point where I forgive them and we can all go back to being friends again. I mean if I can be this forgiving and understanding of the guy who broke my heart and cheated on me, Then why can't I be as understanding of my friend and the girls that I claim to be my sisters, as well as my best friends. But I don't know I guess that I am still just so hurt and I don't even know why. I guess I just expected more from them, I don't know, maybe that was not really fair to them. I mean we're all humans and humans make mistakes. So I don't know what to do here, do you think I should meet with them this weekend sometime while I'm here and try to work things out? or should I not even try, knowing I am not really ready to let everything go quite yet, and miss out on what might be my only chance to make things right with them again. Because well whether I am ready right now or not really isn't an issue. The issue is if I leave here with out even trying to see them, then that will be the end of it, and There will be no coming back from that and no repairing our friendship in the future because we won't be able to come back from something like that. We will no longer even have the option of one day possibly becoming friends again, because we will have no future together. But if I meet with now, will anything even come from it? Or will we just wind up hurting each other all over again? I just don't know what to do. What do you think I should do? Huh? Vernon, please help me out here as my friend. If you were in my place what would you do? *I asked him desperately, as I really did need his advice and he just stared after me thoughtfully*