Life is Hell

Chapter Nine - I Didn't Know I Could Still Be Happy

The day felt like eternity until I finally met up with Chloe and Rachel. Their kiss wasn't really a topic at the moment and Rachel was deep in her thoughts. I guess she was still progressing. "Where were you this morning?" Chloe asked me. "I promised Nathan to pick him up for school and I keep my promises, as well as Nathan told Wells that you weren't the one bullying him. He told him that you helped him" I told her. "How? Why?" She asked confused. "We were talking and he suggested it" I said. "So instead of getting kicked out, I'm still in Blackhell and get to attend classes until I get kicked out eventually or take off with Rachel" She said. "Exactly" I told her "But I also got to go. Meeting up with Frank for lunch" I said. "It's still weird you two hang out" Chloe said and I laughed. "Could you get me a discount with him?" "No Chloe! We don't talk about that. Not at all. We're just Clare and Frank" I told her, smiling at the memory of him.

"See you later C.P." She said and I hurried towards the parking lot, then to the RV and sneaked inside. "Good day Frankie" I said and sat down in the passengers seat. "Someone seems surprisingly happy" He said, starting up the motor. "Why wouldn't I be happy?" I asked him in return. "Did you finally realize starving yourself won't get you anywhere?" He asked. "Nope, but I guess I still have friends, even if I haven't spoken to them in forever" I said. "How come you know that now?" He asked curious. "Chemistry lab today. Warren is still my friend and I didn't even know that. I just pushed him away like I pushed everyone away"

"You haven't pushed me away" He said and parked the car on some public parking lot. "Don't worry, I'm counting the seconds until I will actually do it as well" I said and walked to the fridge. "I think I'm in the mood for some yogurt" I said and grabbed it. "No cooking today?" He asked. "Nope, not really in the mood for it" I said and sat down on the ground, starting to eat it. Frank grabbed a yoghurt himself and sat down beside me. He started eating it. During this time no one said a word, well until he spoke up. "Don't you want me to take a photo of you?" He asked. "No, I decided my mother is paranoid and just has to get over her fucking ass and leave me the hell alone" I said and wanted to get up, but he stopped me. "Here" He said and held the chocolate from the other day towards me.

"I secretly hoped you would have ate it by now" I said, just looking at the still closed wrapping. "You okay?" He asked and I nod and ripped it open. I took a piece of it and just held it in my fingers. "I can't believe I'm about to eat this" I said and put it into my mouth. "This is heaven on earth" I said and held it towards Frank. "Don't mind if I do" He said and took a piece of it and put it in his mouth. I looked at him, waiting for a reaction from him. "This really is good" He said and took another piece, while I took a few more pieces myself.

"I didn't know I could still be happy" I said, looking at my apparently best friend. "What is happy those days?" He asked. "I don't know, but I know that I am not thinking about anything bad at the moment and that makes me happy and this chocolate makes me happy. Sitting here with you makes me happy, so I'm guessing this is what happy really is"  I said. "The small things?" He asked. "You know what, tell me about your time at Blackwell" I said, changing the topic completely.

"How the fuck do you know about that?" He asked confused. "Well, if you invite the nosey Price's into your RV, better hide your stuff, probably on the roof or your dirty laundry" I said. "What if the dirty laundry is what I want to hide?" He asked. "How about the washing machine?" I asked him, teasing him. "Ha... Ha..." He replied. "So, Blackwell" I went back to the original conversation topic. "Not really something I want to talk about" He said. "So? We're always talking about things I don't want to talk about and they actually work with me, so why not try the same with you. So tell me!" I said, trying to convince him to tell me more about himself.

"I was a stoner back then" He said. "I find it hard to believe. You were a stoner back then? You're one now" I said. "How do you think I got into the business? Becoming a drug dealer doesn't happen over night" He said. "Technically it does. One day you have drugs, the next one you are selling them. So yeah, it does work over night" I said and started thinking "Is Chloe one of your dealers?" I asked a little worried and scared of the answer. "No, she's not. She's something you would consider a distant friend. She runs some errands whenever I need her to, but that's about it" Frank explained. "Are you going to use me too?" I asked what I was most afraid of.

"No Clare! I'm not pulling you into this business. You are actually important to me and I won't let you get onto the wrong track, a track I can't save you from" He said. "The track Chloe went down?" "Yes, I'm not letting you follow her down that track!"

Guess hanging out with him doesn't really help in that department, does it? But honestly, I couldn't care less what people think about me or which road I went down. The only thing I cared about is being happy again. I only cared about how people think about Chloe and mom. They can say all they want about me, but they will have to leave my family out of it.

"Thank you, but that won't happen. I will not let that happen" I said and he sighed. "How did we get to this topic again? Weren't we talking about Blackwell?" I asked him. "We were, but I didn't want to talk about it" He said. "So what? I want to talk about it!" I said and he groaned "Why ruin a perfect day?" He asked. "Because you gonna end it stoned either way" I said. "You're probably right with that" He said laughing "You can try it too if you want to" "I don't think that would be such an great idea. My body is just getting used to food again, don't want to overdo it" I said.

"Yeah, you're probably right with that"