Ron: No! You can't kill Scabbers!
Sirius: We have to! He is actually an evil wizard!
Harry: Okay, I don't know what you've been smoking, but whatever it is. I want some of it.
Sirius: Hey! I only do herion, meth, pot, ecstasy, and crack cocaine. Also, I've only a little bit of each today!
Ron: You're crazy!
Lupin: Oh no! The full moon!
Harry: Oh great! You're a werewolf?
Lupin: No! I- *Transforms into a penguin*
Hermione: Really? That's it?
Sirius: Oh my god! It's an elephant!